a little excerpt from provocative faith...
"Ultimately, we experience lifestyle joy when we become content with who Jesus is. Jesus said, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me' (John 14:6 NLT). Making peace with this statement is a process. Some days I wake up and am completely fine with Jesus being the 'way' or the 'truth' for me. But then there are times when I'm not okay with his way or truth; I want it to be my way or I want to find my own truth. But my rules and my idols and my belief systems only get in the way of Jesus reigning supreme in my life. Joy comes not when we put Jesus first, but when we realize that he's always been first and demands nothing less. We must get ourselves out of the way in order for his purpose of making us like him to transpire.
We will never find our joy in circumstance. We will never find our joy in the 'quickies' culture so often offers. Joy comes to us when we faithfully pursue knowing Jesus more intimately. As you begin to know him more deeply and more passionately, you will see your life becoming more peaceful, more content. You won't be 'happy all the time', but your joy will be a lifestyle and not just a passing feeling."
good stuff, mr. turner, good stuff.
Monday, July 16, 2007
T-R-U-S-T
this word has come up a lot lately. actually, it has come up a lot throughout my life, and yet i am no closer to mastering the concept now than i was years ago.
trust has never come naturally to me, as i'm sure it probably doesn't to many people, but in looking back on my life i can see that my ability to trust has diminished as time has passed. at first glance, this might seem like a natural chain of events... the more a person is disappointed by others, the less able he or she will be to trust. it is true that i've been disappointed and hurt by some people in my life, so perhaps it's logical for me to not trust those individuals anymore. however, it isn't logical for me to mistrust other people who have never given me a reason to believe that they're not trustworthy. what's even more illogical is for me to mistrust God. he has never given me a reason not to trust him, but has given me every reason to trust him. not only did he die on a cross so that i could spend eternity with him (pretty sure if someone does that, he's trustworthy), but he's protected me from a great deal of pain... even though i chose to get myself into painful situations. the thing is, no matter how stupid i am, no matter how incredibly poor the choices i make are, God wants to give me good things. this is a concept that i can't seem to grasp, probably because it seems totally illogical. why would God want to give someone like me--someone who is selfish, impatient, untrusting (etc, etc)-- good things?!? in wordly terms that doesn't make sense. but that's the beauty of who God is. he's not of this world, and therefore does things differently. in this world, we get rewarded when we perform well. but God desires to bless us even though we continually screw up. yes, you read that correctly... he desires to bless us. he wants us to experience all that he has for us (ie., what's best for us). so why is it so difficult to trust him? probably because sometimes what's best for us happens in a painful manner. sometimes in order to learn, God allows us to be hurt, and sometimes we get hurt just because this world isn't perfect. there's risk involved with trust. but another beautiful thing about God is that he knows what that risk is like. when Jesus was on this earth, he experienced that risk. he knows exactly how it feels.
the creator of the universe knows exactly how i feel at this very moment...
what an incredible thought.
love to all...
this word has come up a lot lately. actually, it has come up a lot throughout my life, and yet i am no closer to mastering the concept now than i was years ago.
trust has never come naturally to me, as i'm sure it probably doesn't to many people, but in looking back on my life i can see that my ability to trust has diminished as time has passed. at first glance, this might seem like a natural chain of events... the more a person is disappointed by others, the less able he or she will be to trust. it is true that i've been disappointed and hurt by some people in my life, so perhaps it's logical for me to not trust those individuals anymore. however, it isn't logical for me to mistrust other people who have never given me a reason to believe that they're not trustworthy. what's even more illogical is for me to mistrust God. he has never given me a reason not to trust him, but has given me every reason to trust him. not only did he die on a cross so that i could spend eternity with him (pretty sure if someone does that, he's trustworthy), but he's protected me from a great deal of pain... even though i chose to get myself into painful situations. the thing is, no matter how stupid i am, no matter how incredibly poor the choices i make are, God wants to give me good things. this is a concept that i can't seem to grasp, probably because it seems totally illogical. why would God want to give someone like me--someone who is selfish, impatient, untrusting (etc, etc)-- good things?!? in wordly terms that doesn't make sense. but that's the beauty of who God is. he's not of this world, and therefore does things differently. in this world, we get rewarded when we perform well. but God desires to bless us even though we continually screw up. yes, you read that correctly... he desires to bless us. he wants us to experience all that he has for us (ie., what's best for us). so why is it so difficult to trust him? probably because sometimes what's best for us happens in a painful manner. sometimes in order to learn, God allows us to be hurt, and sometimes we get hurt just because this world isn't perfect. there's risk involved with trust. but another beautiful thing about God is that he knows what that risk is like. when Jesus was on this earth, he experienced that risk. he knows exactly how it feels.
the creator of the universe knows exactly how i feel at this very moment...
what an incredible thought.
love to all...
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
katie's bridal shower was this weekend! it was such fun (and to be honest, i don't usually like girly things like that, so you know it was lovely)! this is probably my favorite picture... the HUGE bow on her butt cracked me up (as you can probably tell from the ridiculous look on my face)...
and now for a more normal picture of me and miss katie...
(thanks to miss laura for taking such fun pictures!)
love to all...
and now for a more normal picture of me and miss katie...
(thanks to miss laura for taking such fun pictures!)
love to all...
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
today i played some music and made a bowl out of plaster. i love that i'm getting 3 credits for this class!!!
in other news, i finally found out that i got the job at fulton! woo! but, i still don't know when i start! i'm getting rather frustrated, but i decided earlier that i was just going to be happy that i have a job. so this is me being happy i have a job...
i hope you're all having a wonderful week!
much love...
in other news, i finally found out that i got the job at fulton! woo! but, i still don't know when i start! i'm getting rather frustrated, but i decided earlier that i was just going to be happy that i have a job. so this is me being happy i have a job...
i hope you're all having a wonderful week!
much love...
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
for some reason, i've stumbled upon these verses and others like them several times this week... so i thought i'd share...
"This is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us."
-1 John 5:14
"Whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep his commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight."
-1 John 3:22
"Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."
-Hebrews 11:6
"This is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us."
-1 John 5:14
"Whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep his commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight."
-1 John 3:22
"Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."
-Hebrews 11:6
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
"We look at this Son and see the God who cannot be seen. We look at this Son and see God's original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels—everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment. And when it comes to the church, he organizes and holds it together, like a head does a body.
He was supreme in the beginning and—leading the resurrection parade—he is supreme in the end. From beginning to end he's there, towering far above everything, everyone. So spacious is he, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross."
-Colossians 1:15-20Saturday, May 26, 2007
well, i'm moved in... for the most part, anyway. i still have loads of stuff to put away and all that junk, but the big stuff is done.
i'm totally excited to be here, but i'm also sad. life is so weird and seemingly unfair sometimes. i know i'm supposed to be in lancaster right now, but the events of the past week have made it incredibly difficult to leave bloomsburg. it's all quite confusing and exciting and frustrating all at the same time.
*sigh* i think i need to go to bed...
much love...
i'm totally excited to be here, but i'm also sad. life is so weird and seemingly unfair sometimes. i know i'm supposed to be in lancaster right now, but the events of the past week have made it incredibly difficult to leave bloomsburg. it's all quite confusing and exciting and frustrating all at the same time.
*sigh* i think i need to go to bed...
much love...
Monday, May 21, 2007
3 days! that's right, 3!
i am really excited, but i'm also starting to get a little nervous. the job thing is still up in the air, which is rather frustrating, but i know it'll all work out somehow. i'm also feeling a little sad about leaving bloomsburg. it's home, ya know? however, it will be nice to be living in a bigger town, where i won't see people i know every day. best of all is that i'll be on my own. that's a good thought. what's comforting is knowing that while i may not live here, bloomsburg will always be home, and there will always be people here who care about me, and whom i care about very much.
love to all...
i am really excited, but i'm also starting to get a little nervous. the job thing is still up in the air, which is rather frustrating, but i know it'll all work out somehow. i'm also feeling a little sad about leaving bloomsburg. it's home, ya know? however, it will be nice to be living in a bigger town, where i won't see people i know every day. best of all is that i'll be on my own. that's a good thought. what's comforting is knowing that while i may not live here, bloomsburg will always be home, and there will always be people here who care about me, and whom i care about very much.
love to all...
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
did you ever have one of those days when you felt uncomfortable in your own skin?
that's me today. i'm nervous, anxious, confused, frustrated, and bored. oh, and we mustn't forget lonely. i have so many things to think about, and quite a bit to do in the next few weeks, but i can't do anything about any of it right now (and for some of it, there's nothing i can do ever). i hate feeling helpless and useless, and (here's the crux of it) out of control. i hate to admit it, but i like being in control of things. i like knowing exactly what's going to happen next, and how i'm going to do it. i hate waiting for things to happen. i hate not knowing what's going to happen. i especially hate not knowing what i even want to happen.
what i'd really like is to be settled. just... settled.
i don't think that's too much to ask.
i know some day i will be, and i'll look back at my life and laugh at myself for being so impatient. unfortunately, that doesn't exactly help me out right now. i wish i could be content. i think i was actually doing pretty well with that for a while, but now that i have nothing to do all day but think, i'm back to being discontented.
i know that someday i'll be settled, but today i just don't feel like it's ever going to happen...
forgive my whining...
love to all...
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" -Jeremiah 29:11
that's me today. i'm nervous, anxious, confused, frustrated, and bored. oh, and we mustn't forget lonely. i have so many things to think about, and quite a bit to do in the next few weeks, but i can't do anything about any of it right now (and for some of it, there's nothing i can do ever). i hate feeling helpless and useless, and (here's the crux of it) out of control. i hate to admit it, but i like being in control of things. i like knowing exactly what's going to happen next, and how i'm going to do it. i hate waiting for things to happen. i hate not knowing what's going to happen. i especially hate not knowing what i even want to happen.
what i'd really like is to be settled. just... settled.
i don't think that's too much to ask.
i know some day i will be, and i'll look back at my life and laugh at myself for being so impatient. unfortunately, that doesn't exactly help me out right now. i wish i could be content. i think i was actually doing pretty well with that for a while, but now that i have nothing to do all day but think, i'm back to being discontented.
i know that someday i'll be settled, but today i just don't feel like it's ever going to happen...
forgive my whining...
love to all...
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" -Jeremiah 29:11
Thursday, May 10, 2007
has it been GORGEOUS this week or what!?!
i've been home (in bloomsburg) since friday afternoon, and so far i've done a great deal of relaxing. it is so wonderful to have a couple weeks off just to relax after a long semester. my days thus far have consisted of getting up around 10, eating breakfast on the porch with mag, working out a little bit, laying around a bit more (haha), and making dinner. i could seriously get used to this (i always say that, but in about a week i'll be saying i'm bored, and i can't wait to get back to work)!
speaking of work... i still haven't heard a definite about going back to the bank. so keep your fingers crossed (and keep your ears peeled for other jobs i might be able to get)!
15 days! woo!
love to all...
i've been home (in bloomsburg) since friday afternoon, and so far i've done a great deal of relaxing. it is so wonderful to have a couple weeks off just to relax after a long semester. my days thus far have consisted of getting up around 10, eating breakfast on the porch with mag, working out a little bit, laying around a bit more (haha), and making dinner. i could seriously get used to this (i always say that, but in about a week i'll be saying i'm bored, and i can't wait to get back to work)!
speaking of work... i still haven't heard a definite about going back to the bank. so keep your fingers crossed (and keep your ears peeled for other jobs i might be able to get)!
15 days! woo!
love to all...
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
it is SUCH a beautiful day!!!
today is my last day at Catholic Social Services, and i've already finished all my schoolwork (i'm trying my hardest not to think about the research project anymore, cause there's nothing more i can do) so i've been sitting here looking out the window. it's amazing what a little sunshine will do for a dirty city.
speaking of cities and sunshine... i'm moving to lancaster in 23 days! haha... that's not getting old, is it? by the way, if anyone has a burning desire to help me move, i'll let ya.
hehe so i've been packing little by little over the past couple weeks, and i am still amazed by how much stuff i have! i think the bulk of it is books, which are not fun to move... they're very heavy, and i'm weak. thank goodness i have my pops to help me with that stuff. i'll have to make him a good dinner or something (see what you would be in for if you came to help... hehe).
well i'm off to do some reading... which may turn into gazing out the window... i hope you're all able to enjoy this BEAUTIFUL day!
much love...
today is my last day at Catholic Social Services, and i've already finished all my schoolwork (i'm trying my hardest not to think about the research project anymore, cause there's nothing more i can do) so i've been sitting here looking out the window. it's amazing what a little sunshine will do for a dirty city.
speaking of cities and sunshine... i'm moving to lancaster in 23 days! haha... that's not getting old, is it? by the way, if anyone has a burning desire to help me move, i'll let ya.
hehe so i've been packing little by little over the past couple weeks, and i am still amazed by how much stuff i have! i think the bulk of it is books, which are not fun to move... they're very heavy, and i'm weak. thank goodness i have my pops to help me with that stuff. i'll have to make him a good dinner or something (see what you would be in for if you came to help... hehe). well i'm off to do some reading... which may turn into gazing out the window... i hope you're all able to enjoy this BEAUTIFUL day!
much love...
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
my goal for the day was to finish writing my research project. it's 1:00pm now, and so far i've written a paragraph. i decided to sit on the porch and do my work, cause it's absolutely beautiful out today, and mag really likes being outside. she and i have successfully watched the world go by for the past 3 hours. i probably should feel guilty, but i don't. tomorrow is mag's 15th birthday, and i'm not too sure how many more days like this she and i will get to enjoy together, so i'm gonna do it while i can. it's amazing how much i love the little pooch. if you knew her, you'd understand.
tomorrow also begins the first day of the month i move back to lancaster, as katie pointed out in an email this morning. i'm so excited! in 26 days, i will officially be a resident of lancaster county once again! woo!
but for now i must concentrate on my research project! prayers would be appreciated! hahaha (seriously.)
love to all...
tomorrow also begins the first day of the month i move back to lancaster, as katie pointed out in an email this morning. i'm so excited! in 26 days, i will officially be a resident of lancaster county once again! woo!
but for now i must concentrate on my research project! prayers would be appreciated! hahaha (seriously.)
love to all...
Monday, April 23, 2007
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
and i've stolen yet another survey from the kateness... she always posts these when i'm totally bored... it's like she knows i need some amusement. :)
[ current clothes ] millersville t-shirt and capris (i'm all millersvilled out today)
[ current mood ] bored and pensive
[ current music ] the cure
[ current pain ] blah
[ current taste ] um... tongue?
[ current hair ] ponytail... which is most likely out of control, as usual
[ current annoyance ] school... especially research... AND all the ignorant people in this bleeping town
[ current blessing ] i'm moving to lancaster next month!!!!
[ current smell ] patchouli incense
[ current amusement ] the conversation i'm having with eric kerr right now
[ current thing I ought to be doing ] painting something (just cause i feel like it)
[ current desktop picture ] one i took of a flower in boulder last summer
[ current book you're reading ] slaughterhouse five
[ current CD in CD player ] the best of fall out boy according to the kateness
[ current movie in DVD player ] first season of friends
[ current color of toenails ] red
[ current worry ] school... future
[ current wish ] if i tell you it won't come true... and believe me... i *really* want this one to come true...
[ current clothes ] millersville t-shirt and capris (i'm all millersvilled out today)
[ current mood ] bored and pensive
[ current music ] the cure
[ current pain ] blah
[ current taste ] um... tongue?
[ current hair ] ponytail... which is most likely out of control, as usual
[ current annoyance ] school... especially research... AND all the ignorant people in this bleeping town
[ current blessing ] i'm moving to lancaster next month!!!!
[ current smell ] patchouli incense
[ current amusement ] the conversation i'm having with eric kerr right now
[ current thing I ought to be doing ] painting something (just cause i feel like it)
[ current desktop picture ] one i took of a flower in boulder last summer
[ current book you're reading ] slaughterhouse five
[ current CD in CD player ] the best of fall out boy according to the kateness
[ current movie in DVD player ] first season of friends
[ current color of toenails ] red
[ current worry ] school... future
[ current wish ] if i tell you it won't come true... and believe me... i *really* want this one to come true...
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
lately i've been trying to write only positive things in the old blog, but today i'm just so frustrated, i can't help but complain.
this research project is driving me nuts!!!! first, i was hoping to get 30 surveys, and i only got 20 (which is really out of my hands, since i can't translate them for clients). now i'm trying to write this outline for the discussion section, which is more of a hassle than anything else. i swear it's impossible to put all the information i have to discuss into an outline. most of the subjects i have to discuss are all throughout the discussion section, so there's no good place to put it in the outline. i first just stuck it somewhere, hoping that my professor would just assume that i'd talk about it throughout the section, where it was relevant, but she did not. she told me not to break it up. now, how do you make an outline without breaking things up? isn't that the point of an outline?!? (i know this is probably not making a lot of sense, but i must get it out anyway) so i just emailed my professor and politely asked her if she could help me out, since what she told me to do didn't make any sense (of course, i didn't say that... even though i really wanted to). we'll see what she says.
*sigh* ok, complaining session complete. i really do have so much to be thankful for. after today, i only have 10 more days of my internship, and after friday, only 10 more days of classes! woo! this means that in less than 6 weeks i'll be finished with my first year of grad school, and in less than 9 weeks, i'll be moving back to lancaster!!! hooray!!!!
oh, and one more thing... it's SPRING!!!
this research project is driving me nuts!!!! first, i was hoping to get 30 surveys, and i only got 20 (which is really out of my hands, since i can't translate them for clients). now i'm trying to write this outline for the discussion section, which is more of a hassle than anything else. i swear it's impossible to put all the information i have to discuss into an outline. most of the subjects i have to discuss are all throughout the discussion section, so there's no good place to put it in the outline. i first just stuck it somewhere, hoping that my professor would just assume that i'd talk about it throughout the section, where it was relevant, but she did not. she told me not to break it up. now, how do you make an outline without breaking things up? isn't that the point of an outline?!? (i know this is probably not making a lot of sense, but i must get it out anyway) so i just emailed my professor and politely asked her if she could help me out, since what she told me to do didn't make any sense (of course, i didn't say that... even though i really wanted to). we'll see what she says.
*sigh* ok, complaining session complete. i really do have so much to be thankful for. after today, i only have 10 more days of my internship, and after friday, only 10 more days of classes! woo! this means that in less than 6 weeks i'll be finished with my first year of grad school, and in less than 9 weeks, i'll be moving back to lancaster!!! hooray!!!!
oh, and one more thing... it's SPRING!!!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
so much school work to do...
so little time...
so many happier things to do (like get ready to move back to lancaster!!!! hehe)...
it's getting to be that time of the semester... when lots and LOTS of things are due... like a HUGEMONGOUS research project (that i have very little motivation to do). unfortunately, all i can seem to think about lately is moving back to lancaster. yesterday i actually spent about 45 minutes drawing a floor plan of my apartment and deciding where i was going to put all my furniture and pictures. yeah, i did. i could have been working on all of the school stuff i have to do, but nope, i drew pictures instead. no one can say i don't have priorities!
i think i'll try to get some work done now... wish me luck!
love to all...
so little time...
so many happier things to do (like get ready to move back to lancaster!!!! hehe)...
it's getting to be that time of the semester... when lots and LOTS of things are due... like a HUGEMONGOUS research project (that i have very little motivation to do). unfortunately, all i can seem to think about lately is moving back to lancaster. yesterday i actually spent about 45 minutes drawing a floor plan of my apartment and deciding where i was going to put all my furniture and pictures. yeah, i did. i could have been working on all of the school stuff i have to do, but nope, i drew pictures instead. no one can say i don't have priorities!
i think i'll try to get some work done now... wish me luck!
love to all...
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
great news!!!!
i just got a call from the apartment complex in lancaster...
i got the apartment i wanted!!!! and i can move in on may 26th!!!!! yay!!!!
now all i have to do is schedule classes down there, and wait to see if i can go back to work at fulton (which depends on jon, the guy i used to work with, getting a full time job... so ya'll can pray that that will happen, since it will benefit both of us. see, i'm not being totally selfish... hehe)
i will leave you with these words from Psalm 139:1-10:
"1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."
love to all...
i just got a call from the apartment complex in lancaster...
i got the apartment i wanted!!!! and i can move in on may 26th!!!!! yay!!!!
now all i have to do is schedule classes down there, and wait to see if i can go back to work at fulton (which depends on jon, the guy i used to work with, getting a full time job... so ya'll can pray that that will happen, since it will benefit both of us. see, i'm not being totally selfish... hehe)
i will leave you with these words from Psalm 139:1-10:
"1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."
love to all...
Monday, March 12, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
i was in lancaster this weekend for miss abigail's wedding (which was loads of fun... and she was so BEAUTIFUL!!!), and i was reminded once again why i love that county. i was so blessed by the wonderful weather, and even more wonderful friends...
it might not be so hard to leave bloomsburg after all...
(i will miss ceejer and greggy lots, though!!!!!)
it might not be so hard to leave bloomsburg after all...
(i will miss ceejer and greggy lots, though!!!!!)
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
the past few days have made me realize that i'm really going to miss bloomsburg... this place will always be home... *sigh* my heart is torn...
nelson mandela once said, "there is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered". this is true, but i must add that returning to such a place can also reveal how you've remained unchanged...
it's gonna be hard to leave...
nelson mandela once said, "there is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered". this is true, but i must add that returning to such a place can also reveal how you've remained unchanged...
it's gonna be hard to leave...
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
believe it or not, it's sunny in scranton again. two wednesdays in a row... it's a MIRACLE! hehe
it's amazing how a little sunshine can change my attitude. several little annoyances occurred today, and i responded to them very differently today than i have in the past (for instance, when it's really gloomy outside). like this morning... i was going to the meter to put some more money in when i saw that there was an open spot right in front of the building. so, i thought i'd move my car up, but by the time i got to the spot, someone had already taken it. on a different day i probably would have been frustrated by that, but today i thought to myself, "oh well. i'll get to drive around for a couple blocks listening to the new fall out boy cd and enjoying the sunshine". now i know some of you *cough--mark--cough* will probably think i'm lying about this, but i'm really not. i become very different when the sun is shining. it's like i'm the opposite of a vampire... or something. hahahaha (forgive me... i'm really random today... perhaps also a symptom of the sunshine...)
now if only i could learn to have the same positive attitude no matter what the weather or the circumstances. but growth is a process... and when i struggle i'm able to experience God's grace... what a wonderful thing...
so, i hope that as you're reading this, it's sunny wherever you are...
love to all...
it's amazing how a little sunshine can change my attitude. several little annoyances occurred today, and i responded to them very differently today than i have in the past (for instance, when it's really gloomy outside). like this morning... i was going to the meter to put some more money in when i saw that there was an open spot right in front of the building. so, i thought i'd move my car up, but by the time i got to the spot, someone had already taken it. on a different day i probably would have been frustrated by that, but today i thought to myself, "oh well. i'll get to drive around for a couple blocks listening to the new fall out boy cd and enjoying the sunshine". now i know some of you *cough--mark--cough* will probably think i'm lying about this, but i'm really not. i become very different when the sun is shining. it's like i'm the opposite of a vampire... or something. hahahaha (forgive me... i'm really random today... perhaps also a symptom of the sunshine...)
now if only i could learn to have the same positive attitude no matter what the weather or the circumstances. but growth is a process... and when i struggle i'm able to experience God's grace... what a wonderful thing...
so, i hope that as you're reading this, it's sunny wherever you are...
love to all...
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
today is beautiful. walking outside this morning without wearing a bulky winter coat was wonderful! it's amazing how a little sunshine can make me feel so good. it is a beautiful reminder that winter doesn't last forever. there is always the hope of spring...
you should feel the sun in spring
comin out after a rain
suddenly all is green
sunshine on everything
i can feel it now
i feel You now
and how could such a thing
shine its light on me
and make everything beautiful
and you should hear the angels sing
all gathered round their king
more beautiful than you could dream
i've been quietly listening
you can hear them now
i hear them now
and how could such a king
shine His light on me
and make everything beautiful
and i want to shine
i want to be light
i want to tell you it'll be alright
and i want to shine and i want to fly
just to tell you now
it'll be alright, it'll be alright
'cause i've got nothing of my own to give to you
but this light that shines on me shines on you
and makes everything beautiful, again
it'll be alright...
-david crowder band "stars"
you should feel the sun in spring
comin out after a rain
suddenly all is green
sunshine on everything
i can feel it now
i feel You now
and how could such a thing
shine its light on me
and make everything beautiful
and you should hear the angels sing
all gathered round their king
more beautiful than you could dream
i've been quietly listening
you can hear them now
i hear them now
and how could such a king
shine His light on me
and make everything beautiful
and i want to shine
i want to be light
i want to tell you it'll be alright
and i want to shine and i want to fly
just to tell you now
it'll be alright, it'll be alright
'cause i've got nothing of my own to give to you
but this light that shines on me shines on you
and makes everything beautiful, again
it'll be alright...
-david crowder band "stars"
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
love it.Monday, February 12, 2007
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
what is your passion?
last night i started reading the book about Green Day that i bought recently. it's called Nobody Likes You by Marc Spitz. besides being well written, the book is captivating because of the story of these three guys who are so passionate about their music, and the message behind it, that they're willing to sacrifice anything in order to play.
it's no secret that i'm not much of a musician, but it's also no secret that i love music a great deal. a good song can touch my soul (and even change my life) in ways that not much else can. as i was reading the introduction to this book i couldn't help but feel this longing to be a part of something like Green Day. their music and message have touched people's lives in very real and special ways, and i'm jealous of them. i'm jealous of their talent, and i'm jealous of their passion.
i say i'm passionate about a lot of things... like poverty, environmental issues, people (that's pretty vague, eh?)... the list goes on. but when was the last time i really sacrificed anything in order to further these causes that i'm so "passionate" about??? i'm not sure i ever really have. it's time to change that...
love to all...
last night i started reading the book about Green Day that i bought recently. it's called Nobody Likes You by Marc Spitz. besides being well written, the book is captivating because of the story of these three guys who are so passionate about their music, and the message behind it, that they're willing to sacrifice anything in order to play.
it's no secret that i'm not much of a musician, but it's also no secret that i love music a great deal. a good song can touch my soul (and even change my life) in ways that not much else can. as i was reading the introduction to this book i couldn't help but feel this longing to be a part of something like Green Day. their music and message have touched people's lives in very real and special ways, and i'm jealous of them. i'm jealous of their talent, and i'm jealous of their passion.
i say i'm passionate about a lot of things... like poverty, environmental issues, people (that's pretty vague, eh?)... the list goes on. but when was the last time i really sacrificed anything in order to further these causes that i'm so "passionate" about??? i'm not sure i ever really have. it's time to change that...
love to all...
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
calmer than the sky
far away so blue
land of Living God
grant your peace on earth
we can feel you move and cannot stay the same
the winds are blowing strong
God of heaven come
breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
so we might breathe you deep
breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
land of the living God
if we are in the way
move us to the side
God forgive our wrongs
rest your hands on us
all the world is yours
let us not forget
it was you who bore the cross
God of comfort breathe
breathe peace...
-Robbie Seay Band "Peace"
far away so blue
land of Living God
grant your peace on earth
we can feel you move and cannot stay the same
the winds are blowing strong
God of heaven come
breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
so we might breathe you deep
breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
land of the living God
if we are in the way
move us to the side
God forgive our wrongs
rest your hands on us
all the world is yours
let us not forget
it was you who bore the cross
God of comfort breathe
breathe peace...
-Robbie Seay Band "Peace"
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
i'm bored i'm bored i'm bored i'm bored i'm booooooorrrrrrrred!!!!!!
ok, now that i got that out of my system...
i'm at catholic social services today. i was supposed to have one client today, buuuttttt he didn't show up. this is nothing new for this client, or most others for that matter. it's frustrating, but i shouldn't complain. i did a little reading, and got to chat with some friends for most of the day. the good news is that i won't have to do this kind of thing forever, and while i am doing it, perhaps i'm learning to be more patient (those who know me well are probably thinking, "where's the evidence of that?!?").
on a less whiny note... this past weekend was wonderful. i'm very much looking forward to living in lancaster again. it's always so hard to leave...
i'm also looking forward to this weekend. ceejer and i are gonna have movie night (or "chick night" as she called it today) on friday or saturday. that'll be a good time, as always.
i have such wonderful friends... i'm so blessed...
love to all...
(14 weeks)
ok, now that i got that out of my system...
i'm at catholic social services today. i was supposed to have one client today, buuuttttt he didn't show up. this is nothing new for this client, or most others for that matter. it's frustrating, but i shouldn't complain. i did a little reading, and got to chat with some friends for most of the day. the good news is that i won't have to do this kind of thing forever, and while i am doing it, perhaps i'm learning to be more patient (those who know me well are probably thinking, "where's the evidence of that?!?").
on a less whiny note... this past weekend was wonderful. i'm very much looking forward to living in lancaster again. it's always so hard to leave...
i'm also looking forward to this weekend. ceejer and i are gonna have movie night (or "chick night" as she called it today) on friday or saturday. that'll be a good time, as always.
i have such wonderful friends... i'm so blessed...
love to all...
(14 weeks)
Friday, January 12, 2007
I give up, I lay down
Rest my face upon this ground
Lift my eyes to Your sky
Rid my heart of all I hide
So sweet this surrender
How great Your love for us
How great our love for You
That grace could cover us
How great Your love
How marvelous, how brilliantly
Luminous, You shine in me
And who can fail to give You awe
To fear You, God, so sovereign and strong
I’m so bored of little gods
While standing on the edge of
Something large
While standing here, so close to You
We could be consumed
What a glorious day
-David Crowder Band "How Great"
Rest my face upon this ground
Lift my eyes to Your sky
Rid my heart of all I hide
So sweet this surrender
How great Your love for us
How great our love for You
That grace could cover us
How great Your love
How marvelous, how brilliantly
Luminous, You shine in me
And who can fail to give You awe
To fear You, God, so sovereign and strong
I’m so bored of little gods
While standing on the edge of
Something large
While standing here, so close to You
We could be consumed
What a glorious day
-David Crowder Band "How Great"
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Thursday, January 04, 2007
a little thought from our daily bread...
"...we can be at home in any dwelling, for our safekeeping lies not in the place where we live but in God Himself. We can dwell 'in the secret place of the Most High' and 'abide under the shadow of the Almighty' (Psalm 91:1). There, in His presence, under His wings, we find refuge. The eternal God becomes our dwelling place."
perhaps the reason God sometimes allows us to live in places we're not all that fond of is to force us into His presence. often, when we're comfortable we tend to forget about God. i think this is why He allows difficult circumstances. if only we could learn to keep Him first when life is easy...
"...we can be at home in any dwelling, for our safekeeping lies not in the place where we live but in God Himself. We can dwell 'in the secret place of the Most High' and 'abide under the shadow of the Almighty' (Psalm 91:1). There, in His presence, under His wings, we find refuge. The eternal God becomes our dwelling place."
perhaps the reason God sometimes allows us to live in places we're not all that fond of is to force us into His presence. often, when we're comfortable we tend to forget about God. i think this is why He allows difficult circumstances. if only we could learn to keep Him first when life is easy...
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Friday, December 29, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
i had a wonderful christmas! i hope you all did as well.
i spent most of the day laying around, making dinner, eating dinner, and laying around some more with my family. i also received wonderful reminders that i have some very special people in my life, whose minds i must have been on at some point during the day (and who are often on mine as well) since i got text messages from them... which completely made my holiday. it's 'little' things such as these that make life worthwhile.
love to all...
i spent most of the day laying around, making dinner, eating dinner, and laying around some more with my family. i also received wonderful reminders that i have some very special people in my life, whose minds i must have been on at some point during the day (and who are often on mine as well) since i got text messages from them... which completely made my holiday. it's 'little' things such as these that make life worthwhile.
love to all...
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
i read this in the daily bread this morning, and thought it was pretty awesome... so i decided to share...
"Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more."
-Hebrews 8:12
the author was talking about how pastors and Christians in general emphasize that God says He'll forget our sins. he continued by saying that this isn't always very comforting to people because God can always remember... he is God after all. then the author spoke about a time he heard a pastor say that the verse says God promises to remember no more. it doesn't say he'll forget. it says he chooses not to remember. that is so much more powerful than forgetting. he willingly chooses not to remember so that we can be right with Him.
awesome.
"Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more."
-Hebrews 8:12
the author was talking about how pastors and Christians in general emphasize that God says He'll forget our sins. he continued by saying that this isn't always very comforting to people because God can always remember... he is God after all. then the author spoke about a time he heard a pastor say that the verse says God promises to remember no more. it doesn't say he'll forget. it says he chooses not to remember. that is so much more powerful than forgetting. he willingly chooses not to remember so that we can be right with Him.
awesome.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
i heart lancaster county.
this weekend was fantastic. i got to spend most of saturday with my buddy, garrett from high school. it was absolutely wonderful to spend time with an old friend... especially one who loves God with all his heart, and cares so deeply about people. there's something so comforting about friends who know you well and with whom you can be honestly yourself. i hope we get to spend more time together soon.
after hanging out with garrett, i went to reading to see the kateness, which was wonderful as always. we spent the evening driving around berks county looking at people's christmas decorations. some were very nice, others were completely ridiculous, and we had a wonderful time making fun of the latter and laughing like idiots. it was great.
on sunday i went to church and saw some people i haven't seen in a while... like jess kerr... the coolest girl in youth group! i miss her so much. after church mark and i went to lunch and then to borders and target. it was an experience, as always.
speaking of missing things... i miss lancaster so much. i absolutely love being there. i'm so much happier when i'm in that county than i am any other time. i can't really put into words how i feel when i'm there. garrett asked me what i love about it, and i didn't really have a good answer. i said it reminds me of bloomsburg in some ways, but it has good aspects of a city. that doesn't nearly describe why i love it.
i love it because to me it's home...
this weekend was fantastic. i got to spend most of saturday with my buddy, garrett from high school. it was absolutely wonderful to spend time with an old friend... especially one who loves God with all his heart, and cares so deeply about people. there's something so comforting about friends who know you well and with whom you can be honestly yourself. i hope we get to spend more time together soon.
after hanging out with garrett, i went to reading to see the kateness, which was wonderful as always. we spent the evening driving around berks county looking at people's christmas decorations. some were very nice, others were completely ridiculous, and we had a wonderful time making fun of the latter and laughing like idiots. it was great.
on sunday i went to church and saw some people i haven't seen in a while... like jess kerr... the coolest girl in youth group! i miss her so much. after church mark and i went to lunch and then to borders and target. it was an experience, as always.
speaking of missing things... i miss lancaster so much. i absolutely love being there. i'm so much happier when i'm in that county than i am any other time. i can't really put into words how i feel when i'm there. garrett asked me what i love about it, and i didn't really have a good answer. i said it reminds me of bloomsburg in some ways, but it has good aspects of a city. that doesn't nearly describe why i love it.
i love it because to me it's home...
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
and now i present a survey... stolen from the roommate...
Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
1) Eating junk food late at night
2) Talking to myself in public... I've gotten so used to doing it since I now live alone, that I forget that I shouldn't do it when other people are around
3) Sitting with my leg under me, so that it cuts off the circulation and makes it "fall asleep"
4) Cracking my ankle incessantly before I fall asleep at night
Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
1) My favorite people nearby
2) Something shiny (hahaha... I was just perusing jewelery stores with a bunch of giggling women)
3) A doctoral degree, so that I could just get on with my life already! hahaha
4) The ability to draw and paint well
Name Four Scents You Love:
1) My parents' house
2) My vanilla cookie candle
3) Fields in the summer
4) Christmas trees
Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
1) Fur
2) Camoflage
3) Ridiculously long fingernails
4) "Ug" boots (or whatever they're actually called)
Name Four Things You Are Thinking Now:
1) "I'm up way past my bedtime."
2) "I'm old."
3) "We're getting our Christmas tree tomorrow!!!"
4) "I have a lot of work to do!!!!"
Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:
1) Went to 2 classes from 9 am- 3pm
2) Drove home from Scranton
3) Went to dinner with my parents, and had this amazing penne with vodka sauce at Balzano's in Bloomsburg (i highly reccomend it... the food is fantastic, and Mr. Balzano gives you a hug and kiss when you walk in)
4) Went shopping in downtown Bloomsburg during their "Late Night Shopping" event with Ceej, Brenda, Erica, and Mama
Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought Recently:
1) A shirt
2) Bread
3) Aluminum foil
4) Krispy Kreme donunts (mmmmmmm....)
Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
1) Diet Orange Slice (or Sunkist)
2) Cranberry apple juice
3) Water
4) Chai tea
Last Thing You Laughed At?
Ceej flirting with the cute jeweler
What's Under Your Bed?
I'm not entirely sure
What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
7:00 am
Current Hair?
A ponytail in disarray (did i spell that correctly?)
Current Clothes?
Pajamas!
Current Desktop Picture?
Johnny Depp playing the bass guitar *sigh*
Current Worry?
School, future, life in general ;)
Current Hate?
Petty girls
Last CD You Bought?
um... All American Rejects "Move Along"... total impulse buy... it's fun to listen to, but nothing to write home about
Favorite Place To Be?
Pretty much anywhere in Lancaster County
Least Favorite Place?
Pretty much anywhere in Lackawana County (Scranton, in particular)
Favorite Color?
Blue, or teal, or purple... depends on the day and the object
Favorite Day?
Saturday
Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
1) Eating junk food late at night
2) Talking to myself in public... I've gotten so used to doing it since I now live alone, that I forget that I shouldn't do it when other people are around
3) Sitting with my leg under me, so that it cuts off the circulation and makes it "fall asleep"
4) Cracking my ankle incessantly before I fall asleep at night
Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
1) My favorite people nearby
2) Something shiny (hahaha... I was just perusing jewelery stores with a bunch of giggling women)
3) A doctoral degree, so that I could just get on with my life already! hahaha
4) The ability to draw and paint well
Name Four Scents You Love:
1) My parents' house
2) My vanilla cookie candle
3) Fields in the summer
4) Christmas trees
Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
1) Fur
2) Camoflage
3) Ridiculously long fingernails
4) "Ug" boots (or whatever they're actually called)
Name Four Things You Are Thinking Now:
1) "I'm up way past my bedtime."
2) "I'm old."
3) "We're getting our Christmas tree tomorrow!!!"
4) "I have a lot of work to do!!!!"
Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:
1) Went to 2 classes from 9 am- 3pm
2) Drove home from Scranton
3) Went to dinner with my parents, and had this amazing penne with vodka sauce at Balzano's in Bloomsburg (i highly reccomend it... the food is fantastic, and Mr. Balzano gives you a hug and kiss when you walk in)
4) Went shopping in downtown Bloomsburg during their "Late Night Shopping" event with Ceej, Brenda, Erica, and Mama
Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought Recently:
1) A shirt
2) Bread
3) Aluminum foil
4) Krispy Kreme donunts (mmmmmmm....)
Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
1) Diet Orange Slice (or Sunkist)
2) Cranberry apple juice
3) Water
4) Chai tea
Last Thing You Laughed At?
Ceej flirting with the cute jeweler
What's Under Your Bed?
I'm not entirely sure
What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
7:00 am
Current Hair?
A ponytail in disarray (did i spell that correctly?)
Current Clothes?
Pajamas!
Current Desktop Picture?
Johnny Depp playing the bass guitar *sigh*
Current Worry?
School, future, life in general ;)
Current Hate?
Petty girls
Last CD You Bought?
um... All American Rejects "Move Along"... total impulse buy... it's fun to listen to, but nothing to write home about
Favorite Place To Be?
Pretty much anywhere in Lancaster County
Least Favorite Place?
Pretty much anywhere in Lackawana County (Scranton, in particular)
Favorite Color?
Blue, or teal, or purple... depends on the day and the object
Favorite Day?
Saturday
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
15-18We look at this Son and see the God who cannot be seen. We look at this Son and see God's original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels—everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment. And when it comes to the church, he organizes and holds it together, like a head does a body.
18-20He was supreme in the beginning and—leading the resurrection parade—he is supreme in the end. From beginning to end he's there, towering far above everything, everyone. So spacious is he, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross.
Colossians 1:15- 20 (The Message)
18-20He was supreme in the beginning and—leading the resurrection parade—he is supreme in the end. From beginning to end he's there, towering far above everything, everyone. So spacious is he, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross.
Colossians 1:15- 20 (The Message)
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
first of all, i feel i must warn those of you who read this blog on a regular basis that i will probably be posting a lot of excerpts from the irresistible revolution for the next couple of weeks. forgive me, but i just can't seem to help it. it's like the guy read my mind.
so here are some thoughts from mr. claiborne for today...
"Over and over, when I ask God why all of these injustices are allowed to exist in the world, I can feel the Spirit whisper to me, 'You tell me why we allow this to happen. You are my body, my hands, my feet'" (p 65).
"...I had no idea who St. Francis of Assisi was, but somehow the divine whisper that he and those young radicals heard in Italy in the thirteenth century was very familiar: 'Repair my church which is in ruins'. Now hundreds of years later, another bunch of young dreamers was leaving the Christianity that smothered them, to find God in the abandoned places, in the desert of the inner city. I felt so thirsty for God, so embarrassed by Christianity, and so ready for something more" (p. 65).
and finally...
"We do indeed have a God of resurrection, a God who can create beauty from the messes we make of our world" (p. 67).
good stuff...
so here are some thoughts from mr. claiborne for today...
"Over and over, when I ask God why all of these injustices are allowed to exist in the world, I can feel the Spirit whisper to me, 'You tell me why we allow this to happen. You are my body, my hands, my feet'" (p 65).
"...I had no idea who St. Francis of Assisi was, but somehow the divine whisper that he and those young radicals heard in Italy in the thirteenth century was very familiar: 'Repair my church which is in ruins'. Now hundreds of years later, another bunch of young dreamers was leaving the Christianity that smothered them, to find God in the abandoned places, in the desert of the inner city. I felt so thirsty for God, so embarrassed by Christianity, and so ready for something more" (p. 65).
and finally...
"We do indeed have a God of resurrection, a God who can create beauty from the messes we make of our world" (p. 67).
good stuff...
Sunday, October 29, 2006
"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves... and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."
-Romans 8:26-28 (The Message)
*sigh*
-Romans 8:26-28 (The Message)
*sigh*
Saturday, October 28, 2006
i just started reading the irresistible revolution, by shane claiborne. it's fantastic. this guy and his friends are doing all they can to change church as we know it, and i must say, i'm thrilled. i'm tempted to head down to philly to help them out.
here's my favorite part so far...
"I developed the spiritual form of it [bulimia] where i did my devotions, read all the new Christian books and saw the Christian movies, and then vomited information up to friends, small groups, and pastors. But it had never had the chance to digest. I had gorged myself on all the products of the Christian industrial complex but was spiritually starving to death. I was marked by an overconsumptive but malnourished spirituality, suffocated by Christianity but thirsty for God".
i can't tell you how many times i've felt just like that...
there is hope...
here's my favorite part so far...
"I developed the spiritual form of it [bulimia] where i did my devotions, read all the new Christian books and saw the Christian movies, and then vomited information up to friends, small groups, and pastors. But it had never had the chance to digest. I had gorged myself on all the products of the Christian industrial complex but was spiritually starving to death. I was marked by an overconsumptive but malnourished spirituality, suffocated by Christianity but thirsty for God".
i can't tell you how many times i've felt just like that...
there is hope...
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
time to whine...
my apartment is freakin' freezing!!! AND i have no one to cuddle with to keep me warm.
i started field placement late (which, by the way, was not my fault in any way), so now i'm beind on my hours, and i'm probably going to have to do 2 extra weeks after the semester is over. ARGH!
time to be positive...
i only have 1 class tomorrow, and then i'm going to lunch with the girls from school.
cj and i (and perhaps others) are going to do something fun for halloween this weekend! wee!
i have wonderful friends, and even though i don't get to see them as often as i'd like, they're always in my heart (there's no way to say that without sounding sappy).
"there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven..."
my apartment is freakin' freezing!!! AND i have no one to cuddle with to keep me warm.
i started field placement late (which, by the way, was not my fault in any way), so now i'm beind on my hours, and i'm probably going to have to do 2 extra weeks after the semester is over. ARGH!
time to be positive...
i only have 1 class tomorrow, and then i'm going to lunch with the girls from school.
cj and i (and perhaps others) are going to do something fun for halloween this weekend! wee!
i have wonderful friends, and even though i don't get to see them as often as i'd like, they're always in my heart (there's no way to say that without sounding sappy).
"there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven..."
Sunday, October 22, 2006
northeastern pa=bleh... southern pa=weee!
i had a FANTASTIC time with the kateness this weekend! i'm so incredibly sad that we don't live closer to each other. no one around here understands the ridiculous things that come out of my mouth when i'm tired, or why i dance when i like certain food (or when there's a song in my head). she's spectacular, and i heart her very much. hehe
the weekend was somewhat bittersweet, though. i had so much fun, but i kept thinking that i was only going to be there for a short time, and i still have quite a long time to go before i can go back for good. i can't wait for that day...
in the meantime, i don't really know what to do with myself. i constantly feel like i'm waiting for my life to start. i really don't enjoy that feeling, and i wish i knew how to make it go away. ugh... i feel old...
i had a FANTASTIC time with the kateness this weekend! i'm so incredibly sad that we don't live closer to each other. no one around here understands the ridiculous things that come out of my mouth when i'm tired, or why i dance when i like certain food (or when there's a song in my head). she's spectacular, and i heart her very much. hehe
the weekend was somewhat bittersweet, though. i had so much fun, but i kept thinking that i was only going to be there for a short time, and i still have quite a long time to go before i can go back for good. i can't wait for that day...
in the meantime, i don't really know what to do with myself. i constantly feel like i'm waiting for my life to start. i really don't enjoy that feeling, and i wish i knew how to make it go away. ugh... i feel old...
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
he's been home for years....
we haven't been 'together' for years...
but thinking about what he went through-what we both went through-what millions of others are going through- still makes me cry...
nothing good comes from war...
cultivate peace...
we haven't been 'together' for years...
but thinking about what he went through-what we both went through-what millions of others are going through- still makes me cry...
nothing good comes from war...
cultivate peace...
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
so bored!
i'm currently "working" at catholic social services. for the past 3 hours, i've had just about nothing to do. i did some homework, but there's not much i can do here. i'm so tired, and frustrated that i can't be at home working on the paper that's due on thursday (or taking a nap... haha). it's a bunch of silliness i tell you!
blah. i guess i'm finished complaining now.
on a happier note... i'm gonna be in lancaster this weekend!!!! i finally get to see my kateness!!! it's been way, way too long!
by the way, if anybody's free friday night, let me know.
i'm currently "working" at catholic social services. for the past 3 hours, i've had just about nothing to do. i did some homework, but there's not much i can do here. i'm so tired, and frustrated that i can't be at home working on the paper that's due on thursday (or taking a nap... haha). it's a bunch of silliness i tell you!
blah. i guess i'm finished complaining now.
on a happier note... i'm gonna be in lancaster this weekend!!!! i finally get to see my kateness!!! it's been way, way too long!
by the way, if anybody's free friday night, let me know.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
from My Utmost for His Highest by oswald chambers…
By Spiritual Confusion
“Ye know not what ye ask.” Matthew 20:22.
There are times in spiritual life when there is confusion, and it is no way out to say that there ought not to be confusion. It is not a question of right and wrong, but a question of God taking you by a way which in the meantime you do not understand, and it is only by going through the confusion that you will get at what God wants.
The Shrouding of His Friendship. Luke 11:5-8. Jesus gave the illustration of the man who looked as if he did not care for his friend, and He said that that is how the Heavenly Father will appear to you at times. You will think He is an unkind friend, but remember He is not; the time will come when everything will be explained. There is a cloud on the friendship of the heart, and often even love itself has to wait in pain and tears for the blessing of fuller communion. When God looks completely shrouded, will you hang on in confidence in Him?
The Shadow on His Fatherhood. Luke 11:11-13. Jesus says there are times when your Father will appear as if He were an unnatural father, as if He were callous and indifferent, but remember He is not; I have told you—“Everyone that asketh receiveth.” If there is a shadow on the face of the Father just now, hang onto it that He will ultimately give His clear revealing and justify Himself in all that He permitted.
The Strangeness of His Faithfulness. Luke 18:1-8. “When the Son of Man cometh, shall He find faith on the earth?” Will He find the faith which banks on Him in spite of the confusion? Stand off in faith believing that what Jesus said is true, though in the meantime you do not understand what God is doing. He has bigger issues at stake than the particular things you ask.
whoa…
By Spiritual Confusion
“Ye know not what ye ask.” Matthew 20:22.
There are times in spiritual life when there is confusion, and it is no way out to say that there ought not to be confusion. It is not a question of right and wrong, but a question of God taking you by a way which in the meantime you do not understand, and it is only by going through the confusion that you will get at what God wants.
The Shrouding of His Friendship. Luke 11:5-8. Jesus gave the illustration of the man who looked as if he did not care for his friend, and He said that that is how the Heavenly Father will appear to you at times. You will think He is an unkind friend, but remember He is not; the time will come when everything will be explained. There is a cloud on the friendship of the heart, and often even love itself has to wait in pain and tears for the blessing of fuller communion. When God looks completely shrouded, will you hang on in confidence in Him?
The Shadow on His Fatherhood. Luke 11:11-13. Jesus says there are times when your Father will appear as if He were an unnatural father, as if He were callous and indifferent, but remember He is not; I have told you—“Everyone that asketh receiveth.” If there is a shadow on the face of the Father just now, hang onto it that He will ultimately give His clear revealing and justify Himself in all that He permitted.
The Strangeness of His Faithfulness. Luke 18:1-8. “When the Son of Man cometh, shall He find faith on the earth?” Will He find the faith which banks on Him in spite of the confusion? Stand off in faith believing that what Jesus said is true, though in the meantime you do not understand what God is doing. He has bigger issues at stake than the particular things you ask.
whoa…
Monday, September 04, 2006
Thursday, August 31, 2006
i love school.
i sound like such a big nerd, but i am absolutely thrilled to be back in school. i began to feel like i would never think again. it's such a fantastic feeling to be involved in intellectual discussions. hooray for academia! hehe
speaking of reasons to say, "hooray!"... the kateness is coming up to see me tomorrow!!!! it's been quite a long time since we've seen eachother, so i'm very excited! i think we're gonna go over to clarks summit for a little while, then maybe to old forge for pizza. we'll probably end the evening by watching a silly movie and drinking some girly wine. woo!
and... now i've run out of things to say...
g'night, kiddos. :)
i sound like such a big nerd, but i am absolutely thrilled to be back in school. i began to feel like i would never think again. it's such a fantastic feeling to be involved in intellectual discussions. hooray for academia! hehe
speaking of reasons to say, "hooray!"... the kateness is coming up to see me tomorrow!!!! it's been quite a long time since we've seen eachother, so i'm very excited! i think we're gonna go over to clarks summit for a little while, then maybe to old forge for pizza. we'll probably end the evening by watching a silly movie and drinking some girly wine. woo!
and... now i've run out of things to say...
g'night, kiddos. :)
Friday, August 18, 2006
well, i'm back in the east...
colorado was absolutely amazing. boulder is my new favorite city. the people there are so laid back, open minded, and healthy. i absolutely loved it. i'm already looking forward to my next trip out there, whenever that will be.
the scenery, of course, was indescribable. here are some pictures, but trust me, they don't do those beautiful mountains justice...
this picture is of my mother (the one with the 'antlers'), my aunt susie, and my uncle tony (the one making the 'antlers') on a trail along boulder creek
this is one of many views from rocky mtn. national park in estes park, colorado
colorado was absolutely amazing. boulder is my new favorite city. the people there are so laid back, open minded, and healthy. i absolutely loved it. i'm already looking forward to my next trip out there, whenever that will be.
the scenery, of course, was indescribable. here are some pictures, but trust me, they don't do those beautiful mountains justice...
this picture is of my mother (the one with the 'antlers'), my aunt susie, and my uncle tony (the one making the 'antlers') on a trail along boulder creek
this is one of many views from rocky mtn. national park in estes park, colorado
this is the local elk herd in estes park (this is what they call a "nursery herd"-- the fawns and mothers are separated from the rest of the herd. the fawns are about the size of an adult white tail deer). we were so close to them. it was absolutely amazing. they are such beautiful creatures!
and this is the town hall in nederland, colorado (about 17 miles from boulder), where my cousin cindy lived when she first moved to colorado. it's not a big town (as you may have guessed), but it's full of charm and friendly people. visit if you ever get the chance.
there ya have it... just a glimpse into the wonderful west. :)
and now it's back to reality... classes start in 2 weeks... hard to believe...
Monday, July 31, 2006
me - lancaster = 
it is amazing how much i miss that place today. i keep thinking about the market, and square one, and the random places i used to drive to just to clear my head. i'm determined to get back there after grad. school. i hope that's where life takes me, cause that's really where i want to be. it's funny to think that just a few years ago, i hated being there. this was due to the fact that it takes me a great deal of time to adjust to anything new, and i was homesick. it took a while, but eventually i fell in love with the place. it has become home to me, and i'm definitely homesick...
it is amazing how much i miss that place today. i keep thinking about the market, and square one, and the random places i used to drive to just to clear my head. i'm determined to get back there after grad. school. i hope that's where life takes me, cause that's really where i want to be. it's funny to think that just a few years ago, i hated being there. this was due to the fact that it takes me a great deal of time to adjust to anything new, and i was homesick. it took a while, but eventually i fell in love with the place. it has become home to me, and i'm definitely homesick...
Thursday, July 27, 2006
B.O.R.E.D.
school cannot start soon enough! i've spent the past month rotting away in front of the television. i can be sure that my brain has shrunk because of this. it may sound crazy, but i cannot wait to start classes. i'm just hoping i enjoy them at least half as much as i enjoyed my classes at millersville (ah, millersville... i miss it already *sniff*).
luckily, in a couple weeks i will have reason to tear myself away from the tv. my cousin is getting married in boulder, colorado, and some members of my mother's family (including my immediate family) are trekking out there for the event. cindy (my cousin) and david (her fiance) are having the ceremony on some sort of plateau type place in the rocky mountains. it promises to be rather beautiful. most of us are planning to be out there for about a week. we plan to do a lot of hiking and sight-seeing. cindy and david are convinced that i'm going to want to stay, and from the way describe it, i think they're right. it sounds like my kind of place. they say that most of the people out there are modern-day hippies, and boulder is full of coffee houses, book stores, and art exhibits. my parents may have to come up with a way to trick me into getting on the plane to come home. it will be so good to get a new perspective... especially right before beginning a new chapter in my life.
i can't wait to get out there...
school cannot start soon enough! i've spent the past month rotting away in front of the television. i can be sure that my brain has shrunk because of this. it may sound crazy, but i cannot wait to start classes. i'm just hoping i enjoy them at least half as much as i enjoyed my classes at millersville (ah, millersville... i miss it already *sniff*).
luckily, in a couple weeks i will have reason to tear myself away from the tv. my cousin is getting married in boulder, colorado, and some members of my mother's family (including my immediate family) are trekking out there for the event. cindy (my cousin) and david (her fiance) are having the ceremony on some sort of plateau type place in the rocky mountains. it promises to be rather beautiful. most of us are planning to be out there for about a week. we plan to do a lot of hiking and sight-seeing. cindy and david are convinced that i'm going to want to stay, and from the way describe it, i think they're right. it sounds like my kind of place. they say that most of the people out there are modern-day hippies, and boulder is full of coffee houses, book stores, and art exhibits. my parents may have to come up with a way to trick me into getting on the plane to come home. it will be so good to get a new perspective... especially right before beginning a new chapter in my life.
i can't wait to get out there...
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
lyric of the moment...
they say we've been looking for illegal immigrants
can we check your car
i say you know it's funny
i think we were on the same boat back in 1694
-indigo girls "shame on you"
so i've been a college graduate for almost a month now, and i'm still not sure i know how i feel about it. i'm not sure i'm ready to grow up, but i have no choice. life is changing a mile a minute, and i'm not doing a very good job of keeping up with it.
i'm not fond of friends being far away. my biggest wish at the moment is that all the people i love could be in the same place at the same time... all the time. i'm always hesitant about making new friends, probably cause i'm not very good at it, and there have been very few times in my life that i've met someone new and they turned out to be a really great friend. that makes the friends i have special though. i just wish they were closer.
it's funny... i want everyone to stay in the area (and others to move to it), and all the while i'm thinking about where i'm going to be in 2 years. at this point i have no idea. i could be across the country... or in another one. who knows. the thought both excites and terrifies me at the same time. i don't like change, but at the same time, i like knowing that there are more adventures out there for me. my life is such a dichotomy sometimes.
they say we've been looking for illegal immigrants
can we check your car
i say you know it's funny
i think we were on the same boat back in 1694
-indigo girls "shame on you"
so i've been a college graduate for almost a month now, and i'm still not sure i know how i feel about it. i'm not sure i'm ready to grow up, but i have no choice. life is changing a mile a minute, and i'm not doing a very good job of keeping up with it.
i'm not fond of friends being far away. my biggest wish at the moment is that all the people i love could be in the same place at the same time... all the time. i'm always hesitant about making new friends, probably cause i'm not very good at it, and there have been very few times in my life that i've met someone new and they turned out to be a really great friend. that makes the friends i have special though. i just wish they were closer.
it's funny... i want everyone to stay in the area (and others to move to it), and all the while i'm thinking about where i'm going to be in 2 years. at this point i have no idea. i could be across the country... or in another one. who knows. the thought both excites and terrifies me at the same time. i don't like change, but at the same time, i like knowing that there are more adventures out there for me. my life is such a dichotomy sometimes.
Friday, May 26, 2006
so this is my last night in this dreadful apartment. woo!!!
as much as i'm not going to miss this place, i am going to miss all the late night chats and lazy afternoons of watching food network with the roommate. i'm sure we haven't had our last late night chat or our last afternoon of food network, but things certainly won't be the same anymore. i'm really gonna miss millersville too. i feel like i just got settled, and now i'm leaving. it really doesn't help that i'm moving to scranton, or as i like to call it, the armpit of pennsylvania. i wish i was excited about moving on to the next phase of my life, but instead i'm kinda terrified. *sigh* i am so bad at change...
as much as i'm not going to miss this place, i am going to miss all the late night chats and lazy afternoons of watching food network with the roommate. i'm sure we haven't had our last late night chat or our last afternoon of food network, but things certainly won't be the same anymore. i'm really gonna miss millersville too. i feel like i just got settled, and now i'm leaving. it really doesn't help that i'm moving to scranton, or as i like to call it, the armpit of pennsylvania. i wish i was excited about moving on to the next phase of my life, but instead i'm kinda terrified. *sigh* i am so bad at change...
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
song for the day...
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that'll never happen.
This table has taken a turn for the worst,
Rock bottom and over the edge
Well it’s not like it hurts that much anyway.
Upside-down and inside-out,
When I leave here I’m going alone
Well it’s not like, not like it, hurts much anyway.
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something, something…
This balance has weighed out our heart’s desire,
I’m trying to make it alone.
Well it’s not like it hurts that much anyway.
Upside-down and inside out,
When I leave here I’m going alone
But I’m dying, I’m dying, to touch..’
And it’s not like it, not like it hurts much anyway.
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that’ll never happen.
Did you hear what I have to (say)….
Attention Attention
Upside-down and inside-out
Attention Attention
Upside-down and inside-out
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that’ll never happen.
Did you hear what I have to (say)...
-The Academy Is... "Attention"
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that'll never happen.
This table has taken a turn for the worst,
Rock bottom and over the edge
Well it’s not like it hurts that much anyway.
Upside-down and inside-out,
When I leave here I’m going alone
Well it’s not like, not like it, hurts much anyway.
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something, something…
This balance has weighed out our heart’s desire,
I’m trying to make it alone.
Well it’s not like it hurts that much anyway.
Upside-down and inside out,
When I leave here I’m going alone
But I’m dying, I’m dying, to touch..’
And it’s not like it, not like it hurts much anyway.
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that’ll never happen.
Did you hear what I have to (say)….
Attention Attention
Upside-down and inside-out
Attention Attention
Upside-down and inside-out
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that’ll never happen.
Did you hear what I have to (say)...
-The Academy Is... "Attention"
Monday, May 15, 2006
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
i hate feeling like i'm being used.
i hate feeling like i'm being left behind.
i hate feeling like i'm falling.
i hate feeling like i have no place to land.
i hate how much i miss the way things used to be.
i hate feeling like i'm the only one who misses it.
i hate feeling like everything's changing except me...
i hate feeling like i'm being left behind.
i hate feeling like i'm falling.
i hate feeling like i have no place to land.
i hate how much i miss the way things used to be.
i hate feeling like i'm the only one who misses it.
i hate feeling like everything's changing except me...
Thursday, April 13, 2006
i'm having an "i miss old friends" day today. there's something so comforting about people who have known you a long time... i really hope i get to see these people soon... it's been way too long...
besides feeling very nostalgic today, i am stressed to the max with school. i about had a nervous breakdown last night when i found out that my project for research methods is going to be quite a bit more involved than i originally thought. i hate how i allow things like that to affect me so much, so i'm trying to just let it go, and trust that it will all work out. this is not easy for me. i'm good at holding on... not letting go... but the thing is, all i can do is my best... the rest is out of my hands...
on a very different note, mark sent me the link to this video today about 9/11... pretty heavy stuff... check it out (i only watched the first 10 minutes or so, but what i saw was very well done... better than fahrenheit 9/11, if you ask me)
on that note, i'm off to work... love to all...
besides feeling very nostalgic today, i am stressed to the max with school. i about had a nervous breakdown last night when i found out that my project for research methods is going to be quite a bit more involved than i originally thought. i hate how i allow things like that to affect me so much, so i'm trying to just let it go, and trust that it will all work out. this is not easy for me. i'm good at holding on... not letting go... but the thing is, all i can do is my best... the rest is out of my hands...
on a very different note, mark sent me the link to this video today about 9/11... pretty heavy stuff... check it out (i only watched the first 10 minutes or so, but what i saw was very well done... better than fahrenheit 9/11, if you ask me)
on that note, i'm off to work... love to all...
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
Sunday, March 12, 2006
16This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
17If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:16-18
17If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:16-18
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
First of all thanks for listening to our song
We hope this finds you driving in your car
or where ever you are breathe out and breathe again
know that life is hard, but its worth breathing,
listen to me now for love, oh love, It's waiting for you just to say
here come better days
here come better days
better days, and a better place I know.
Secondly I'm all messed up so royally
I stumbled my way here, but wait,
oh wait grace has found me
shaken up my soul, grace will follow
wherever you will go, listen to me now grace,
oh grace, is calling for you just to say
here come better days
here come better days,
better days, and a better place I know.
Green grass and I'm laying in the sunlight of you,
the wind is moving through the trees blustering you,
and the better days you bring, the better places found,
feasting at your table I'm overwhelmed,
and I lift my glass drink to those who never gave up,
clouds pass fading into memories gone,
and all I know for life is life and love and peace,
what else could there be?
here come better days,
oh here come better days,
better days, and a better place I know
-Robbie Seay Band "Better Days"
We hope this finds you driving in your car
or where ever you are breathe out and breathe again
know that life is hard, but its worth breathing,
listen to me now for love, oh love, It's waiting for you just to say
here come better days
here come better days
better days, and a better place I know.
Secondly I'm all messed up so royally
I stumbled my way here, but wait,
oh wait grace has found me
shaken up my soul, grace will follow
wherever you will go, listen to me now grace,
oh grace, is calling for you just to say
here come better days
here come better days,
better days, and a better place I know.
Green grass and I'm laying in the sunlight of you,
the wind is moving through the trees blustering you,
and the better days you bring, the better places found,
feasting at your table I'm overwhelmed,
and I lift my glass drink to those who never gave up,
clouds pass fading into memories gone,
and all I know for life is life and love and peace,
what else could there be?
here come better days,
oh here come better days,
better days, and a better place I know
-Robbie Seay Band "Better Days"
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
ah, james... i love james...
1My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism.
2Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in.
3If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet,"
4have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?
15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.
16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?
-James 2:1-4 & 14-16
1My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism.
2Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in.
3If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet,"
4have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?
15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.
16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?
-James 2:1-4 & 14-16
Sunday, February 26, 2006
yes, today is sunday. no, i didn't go to church.
for quite some time now, my desire to be involved in church has been on what may best be described as a roller-coaster ride. my "distaste" for some aspects of the church (and by this i mean the "community of believers"-- a.k.a. christians) began during my sophomore year in high school. i went to a conservative christian school in bloomsburg, whose leaders tended (in my opinion) to be comprable to the pharisees described in the new testament. in my experience, many of the leaders of this school failed to love as Christ loved. they had very stringent standards of dress, behavior, attitudes, and opinions that could not be defied or even questioned without some kind of reproach. (in contrast, most of the teachers i had were wonderful examples of Christ's love, and i am truly thankful for them.) before i go on, i will say that i don't mean to berate these individuals. we are all human, and i am just as capable of mistreating people as they are. i am merely using them as an example to explain my feelings about the church.
there are many examples stored in my memory that i could recount for you, but i don't think they're necessary in making my point. i will just say this: there were many situations in which individuals involved in the school (teachers and students) were in need of some compassion, but instead were attacked and scolded for what was seen as their "shortcomings". naturally, i became fairly angry and hurt about this mistreatment, and because i was young and immature, i allowed what began as "righteous anger" to turn into bitterness.
in the year that followed, painful situations escalated at school. in addition, my beloved piano teacher passed away prematurely from heart disease, my boyfriend at the time was deployed to kuwait for six months, my youth pastor and his wife moved away in order for him to continue his education, and several major disagreements errupted in my church. the combination of all these situations caused a flood of questions to flow through my mind. the most prominent of which was, "if this is how christians treat people, do i really want to be labeled as one?"
with the assistance of time and several loving mentors, i began to understand that the hurtful behavior of the individuals mentioned before was not christianity, the basis for which is love, grace, and acceptance. this realization didn't solve much for me. yes, it answered the question of what christianity is really all about, but it also induced another, perhaps bigger question: "how do we accomplish this?" this is a question that i still often ask myself. i think it's a question that we need to never stop asking. how do we love as Christ loved? how do we become, as my youth pastor so poignantly described it, "jesus with skin on"? obviously, there is no easy answer, but i think that at the core, we must stop focusing on ourselves. last week i drove through a little town outside of lancaster called conestoga, and noticed the sign in front of one of the churches on the main road. it said, "at the center of sin is i". i think we can all agree it's a bit cheezy, but i think the point is valuable. until christians stop focusing on ourselves, we will continue to hurt those around us and fail in our calling to love.
all this to say that today i was thinking about why i didn't want to go to church this morning. there are many reasons. some are purely personal that i just need to get over, and some are more, fundamental, if you will. i think the christian community has come to a crossroads. we are stagnant. something needs to change, but are we willing to do the work involved to bring about this change? last night mark and i went to provident bookstore. while browsing the "church" section, mark noticed that many of the books were about "the emerging church". we both stated our pleasure in knowing that there are other people out there who are willing to critique the church, but mark questioned whether this was a movement that would bring about real change, or if it was all just a bunch of rhetoric.
something needs to be changed, and i'm beginning to believe that the church, as it is, cannot be fixed. i think that, in a lot of ways, we need to completely abandon the way we do things now, and start over. i don't know how to accomplish this, but i hope and pray that God will enlighten us... and soon...
for quite some time now, my desire to be involved in church has been on what may best be described as a roller-coaster ride. my "distaste" for some aspects of the church (and by this i mean the "community of believers"-- a.k.a. christians) began during my sophomore year in high school. i went to a conservative christian school in bloomsburg, whose leaders tended (in my opinion) to be comprable to the pharisees described in the new testament. in my experience, many of the leaders of this school failed to love as Christ loved. they had very stringent standards of dress, behavior, attitudes, and opinions that could not be defied or even questioned without some kind of reproach. (in contrast, most of the teachers i had were wonderful examples of Christ's love, and i am truly thankful for them.) before i go on, i will say that i don't mean to berate these individuals. we are all human, and i am just as capable of mistreating people as they are. i am merely using them as an example to explain my feelings about the church.
there are many examples stored in my memory that i could recount for you, but i don't think they're necessary in making my point. i will just say this: there were many situations in which individuals involved in the school (teachers and students) were in need of some compassion, but instead were attacked and scolded for what was seen as their "shortcomings". naturally, i became fairly angry and hurt about this mistreatment, and because i was young and immature, i allowed what began as "righteous anger" to turn into bitterness.
in the year that followed, painful situations escalated at school. in addition, my beloved piano teacher passed away prematurely from heart disease, my boyfriend at the time was deployed to kuwait for six months, my youth pastor and his wife moved away in order for him to continue his education, and several major disagreements errupted in my church. the combination of all these situations caused a flood of questions to flow through my mind. the most prominent of which was, "if this is how christians treat people, do i really want to be labeled as one?"
with the assistance of time and several loving mentors, i began to understand that the hurtful behavior of the individuals mentioned before was not christianity, the basis for which is love, grace, and acceptance. this realization didn't solve much for me. yes, it answered the question of what christianity is really all about, but it also induced another, perhaps bigger question: "how do we accomplish this?" this is a question that i still often ask myself. i think it's a question that we need to never stop asking. how do we love as Christ loved? how do we become, as my youth pastor so poignantly described it, "jesus with skin on"? obviously, there is no easy answer, but i think that at the core, we must stop focusing on ourselves. last week i drove through a little town outside of lancaster called conestoga, and noticed the sign in front of one of the churches on the main road. it said, "at the center of sin is i". i think we can all agree it's a bit cheezy, but i think the point is valuable. until christians stop focusing on ourselves, we will continue to hurt those around us and fail in our calling to love.
all this to say that today i was thinking about why i didn't want to go to church this morning. there are many reasons. some are purely personal that i just need to get over, and some are more, fundamental, if you will. i think the christian community has come to a crossroads. we are stagnant. something needs to change, but are we willing to do the work involved to bring about this change? last night mark and i went to provident bookstore. while browsing the "church" section, mark noticed that many of the books were about "the emerging church". we both stated our pleasure in knowing that there are other people out there who are willing to critique the church, but mark questioned whether this was a movement that would bring about real change, or if it was all just a bunch of rhetoric.
something needs to be changed, and i'm beginning to believe that the church, as it is, cannot be fixed. i think that, in a lot of ways, we need to completely abandon the way we do things now, and start over. i don't know how to accomplish this, but i hope and pray that God will enlighten us... and soon...
Monday, February 20, 2006
i don't have much to say, other than... this weekend was loads of fun... and here are some pictures from t.j. rockwell's...
in case you don't know, this is me, the kateness, and amber
in case you don't know, this is me, the kateness, and amber
and here's katie and laura
hope everyone is having a great week... love to all...
Monday, February 13, 2006
since it's almost time for my least favorite day of the year, i thought i'd share my favorite valentine's day card...
(check out the website too... what's your favorite?)
(check out the website too... what's your favorite?)
Monday, February 06, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
it's the first day of my last semester! i cannot believe it. it seems like yesterday i was moving into the dorm! madness i tell you!
anyway... today was interesting. i was supposed to start working at the CDRE, but the building had to be closed because of hazmat contamination. so... i went grocery shopping instead. oh, how i love grocery shopping. it seems that i ALWAYS manage to go when it's raining. i really need to time these things better.
as always, i miss bloomsburg. i had such a great weekend, it was so hard to leave last night. on saturday, i went to carri and michelle's with shell and brandon. the 5 of us, along with tony (brandon's old roommate), played board games all night. for anyone who hasn't experienced michelle killian in board game mode, it is a sight to behold. she gets ridiculous. it seriously made my week... especially when she yelled out, "eat dirt, bird!" it was a great night. shell and brandon are the best (as we all know), and michelle and carri are just so much fun. tony is too... i just don't know him that well yet, and he spent most of the night trying to gross me out... which continued the next night at good old days. i can't really blame him though, it's very easy to get a reaction from me.
speaking of good old days... we hung out there on sunday night cause brandon's old roommates ran out of oil, so they didn't have heat in their house. there really are no words to describe good old days... you'd have to experience it for yourself. there's just something incredibly enjoyable about hanging out with your friends and watching drunk people sing karaoke.
and now i will leave you with this thought... "whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." -mark twain
love to all...
anyway... today was interesting. i was supposed to start working at the CDRE, but the building had to be closed because of hazmat contamination. so... i went grocery shopping instead. oh, how i love grocery shopping. it seems that i ALWAYS manage to go when it's raining. i really need to time these things better.
as always, i miss bloomsburg. i had such a great weekend, it was so hard to leave last night. on saturday, i went to carri and michelle's with shell and brandon. the 5 of us, along with tony (brandon's old roommate), played board games all night. for anyone who hasn't experienced michelle killian in board game mode, it is a sight to behold. she gets ridiculous. it seriously made my week... especially when she yelled out, "eat dirt, bird!" it was a great night. shell and brandon are the best (as we all know), and michelle and carri are just so much fun. tony is too... i just don't know him that well yet, and he spent most of the night trying to gross me out... which continued the next night at good old days. i can't really blame him though, it's very easy to get a reaction from me.
speaking of good old days... we hung out there on sunday night cause brandon's old roommates ran out of oil, so they didn't have heat in their house. there really are no words to describe good old days... you'd have to experience it for yourself. there's just something incredibly enjoyable about hanging out with your friends and watching drunk people sing karaoke.
and now i will leave you with this thought... "whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." -mark twain
love to all...
Friday, January 13, 2006
well, once again i'm wide awake at 1 in the morning. tonight i'm thinking about friends... in particular, some i haven't seen in quite some time. it's funny to think about how close we were at one point, and now we talk about once a year... if we're lucky. there's one friend who always seems to pop up just when i need someone to cheer me up. i miss that person the most tonight... and other nights too... and even some days. hopefully i'll get to see this person soon... possibly this summer.
which reminds me... nobody else wants to go to the grand canyon with me? we don't really have to do the grand canyon, but it would be fun to do a little camping/hiking trip. c'mon, guys... you know you want to!
wish me luck... i'm gonna go try to sleep now...
g'night, kids... much love...
which reminds me... nobody else wants to go to the grand canyon with me? we don't really have to do the grand canyon, but it would be fun to do a little camping/hiking trip. c'mon, guys... you know you want to!
wish me luck... i'm gonna go try to sleep now...
g'night, kids... much love...
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Sunday, December 18, 2005
in case you didn't know, i have the best friends in the world.
friday night i went out to see sar. we were supposed to go to a little shin dig with some of her friends, and have some holiday "spirits" if you will. sadly, i got sick (not because of the spirits, mind you. i didn't even get that far). so instead, i spent the night laying in her bed watching nick and nite and trying not to puke... again. meanwhile, the poor girl stayed home to take care of me. she's the sweetest thing. and apparently i look like a cabbage patch doll when i'm sleeping. i think that was teeb's revelation. haha... good times.
on saturday night shell and brandon came down to hang out with me. it was so great. i haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with shell lately, cause she's been super busy. so it was awesome to have her hang out last night. she is the biggest goofity goofs. and i lovies her upies!
hehe brandon's pretty great too... but ya know, i see him all the time. seriously though, they're the greatest. i'm so thankful they're in my life.
so minus being sick, i had a pretty great weekend. i have awesome friends, a wonderful family, and an adorable dog.
life is good...
on a much sadder note... today is the one year anniversary of my friend, dave's death. i don't really know what to say about him... he was just an amazing person. *miss ya, dave... can't wait to see ya again*
friday night i went out to see sar. we were supposed to go to a little shin dig with some of her friends, and have some holiday "spirits" if you will. sadly, i got sick (not because of the spirits, mind you. i didn't even get that far). so instead, i spent the night laying in her bed watching nick and nite and trying not to puke... again. meanwhile, the poor girl stayed home to take care of me. she's the sweetest thing. and apparently i look like a cabbage patch doll when i'm sleeping. i think that was teeb's revelation. haha... good times.
on saturday night shell and brandon came down to hang out with me. it was so great. i haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with shell lately, cause she's been super busy. so it was awesome to have her hang out last night. she is the biggest goofity goofs. and i lovies her upies!
hehe brandon's pretty great too... but ya know, i see him all the time. seriously though, they're the greatest. i'm so thankful they're in my life.so minus being sick, i had a pretty great weekend. i have awesome friends, a wonderful family, and an adorable dog.
life is good...on a much sadder note... today is the one year anniversary of my friend, dave's death. i don't really know what to say about him... he was just an amazing person. *miss ya, dave... can't wait to see ya again*
Friday, December 16, 2005
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
so it's finals week already. this semester has gone so quickly (probably because i went home just about every weekend... and the one i didn't, my bestest buddy brandon came down to visit me). it's hard to believe that in less than 6 months i will be graduating from college. it seems like just yesterday i was moving into the dorm. it's funny to think how much has changed... how much i've changed...
over the past couple of days i've become almost sad that it will soon be over. i've been concentrating so much lately on the future (with grad. school and all that), that i haven't thought much about the present... and the fact that my college days will soon come to an end. it was a great experience. i've learned so much... mostly from sociology classes (as opposed to english classes... hence the change of major)... from friends, from myself. i'm anticipating learning and growing more as life goes on, but i hope i never forget what i've learned here.
ok, enough of the soul searching (haha)... i must get back to work. i'm so apathetic right now. all i want to do is sit around eating christmas cookies and reading. *sigh* 2 more days...
good luck on finals, kids... much love...
over the past couple of days i've become almost sad that it will soon be over. i've been concentrating so much lately on the future (with grad. school and all that), that i haven't thought much about the present... and the fact that my college days will soon come to an end. it was a great experience. i've learned so much... mostly from sociology classes (as opposed to english classes... hence the change of major)... from friends, from myself. i'm anticipating learning and growing more as life goes on, but i hope i never forget what i've learned here.
ok, enough of the soul searching (haha)... i must get back to work. i'm so apathetic right now. all i want to do is sit around eating christmas cookies and reading. *sigh* 2 more days...
good luck on finals, kids... much love...
Saturday, December 10, 2005
"sometimes i don't hate but i want to
blinded by the reason i found you
it's just a feeling i get when i'm around you
can you relate to what i'm going through?
how much farther will i get?
man, i feel like such a moving target
how many times will i slip before i find it?
until then i guess i'll just keep climbing"
-thousand foot krutch "stranger"
blinded by the reason i found you
it's just a feeling i get when i'm around you
can you relate to what i'm going through?
how much farther will i get?
man, i feel like such a moving target
how many times will i slip before i find it?
until then i guess i'll just keep climbing"
-thousand foot krutch "stranger"
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
today someone whined about my not updating my blog in a while. so here's an update:
i'm tired of school, and i would REALLY like it to be december 15th right now... even better... MAY 15th!
on another note... i miss my buddies (and ma and pops and mags).
and now i have exceeded my mental capacity for the evening, so i'm going out to the livingroom to be a bum.
i'm tired of school, and i would REALLY like it to be december 15th right now... even better... MAY 15th!
on another note... i miss my buddies (and ma and pops and mags).
and now i have exceeded my mental capacity for the evening, so i'm going out to the livingroom to be a bum.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul...
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well, with my soul...
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul...
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well, with my soul...
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
Monday, November 14, 2005
i had another wonderful weekend in good old bloomsburg (well, for the most part anyway...). on thursday night i hung out with ceej and greg and watched them make apple dumplings. i was supposed to help, but well... i didn't cause i'm bum. then friday ma and i went up to marywood to visit the campus and get some information on grad. school and all that stuff. it went well. i really think i'll like the program, and the campus is really beautiful. the numerous statues of mary reminded me of the time we all went up to see one of jay's soccer games. that was a good time...
anyway... then on friday night i hung out with brandon and his buds. they are such a good time. i had a blast! i had a rough week (which continued that night for reasons i won't get into), so it was just great to kick back and laugh with them. i wish shell could've hung out with us, but she has a big test today that she had to study for. *good luck, buddy*
saturday i pretty much just stayed around the house... did a little homework... slept for a while... bummed around in general. then brandon and i went to the susquehanna valley mall before greg's hockey game. he did a little shopping, then we went to garfield's for an appetizer and dessert, and then went and met ceej at the hockey game. as we were driving to the rink, brandon missed the turn into the parking lot. so i said, "i dare you to drive through the grass". he did. and then realized there was a curb, and instead of stopping and backing up, he just went right over it. it was hilarious. i thought i was going to pee my pants! the night was a lot of fun... brought back a lot of memories...
on sunday i went to church, did a little shopping with ma, took a nap, then went to church to talk to the youth group. it was fun. i hope i get to do it again. when i got home i told ma we should get a movie. so we went down and got charlie and the chocolate factory. it was SOOOO good! we both laughed so hard. it was great.
and now i'm back in good old lancaster county (boo!). the next few weeks are probably going to be a blur, which is good and bad. i'm going to be so busy, i'm going to go out of my mind, but it will also make the time go faster... and that's a very good thing right now.
hope everyone has a great week... love to all...
anyway... then on friday night i hung out with brandon and his buds. they are such a good time. i had a blast! i had a rough week (which continued that night for reasons i won't get into), so it was just great to kick back and laugh with them. i wish shell could've hung out with us, but she has a big test today that she had to study for. *good luck, buddy*
saturday i pretty much just stayed around the house... did a little homework... slept for a while... bummed around in general. then brandon and i went to the susquehanna valley mall before greg's hockey game. he did a little shopping, then we went to garfield's for an appetizer and dessert, and then went and met ceej at the hockey game. as we were driving to the rink, brandon missed the turn into the parking lot. so i said, "i dare you to drive through the grass". he did. and then realized there was a curb, and instead of stopping and backing up, he just went right over it. it was hilarious. i thought i was going to pee my pants! the night was a lot of fun... brought back a lot of memories...
on sunday i went to church, did a little shopping with ma, took a nap, then went to church to talk to the youth group. it was fun. i hope i get to do it again. when i got home i told ma we should get a movie. so we went down and got charlie and the chocolate factory. it was SOOOO good! we both laughed so hard. it was great.
and now i'm back in good old lancaster county (boo!). the next few weeks are probably going to be a blur, which is good and bad. i'm going to be so busy, i'm going to go out of my mind, but it will also make the time go faster... and that's a very good thing right now.
hope everyone has a great week... love to all...
Sunday, November 06, 2005
i had such a great weekend. it's so good to come home and spend time with people who really understand and care about me. i've been so blessed with wonderful parents (and an equally but differently wonderful dog... haha) and friends.
friday night i just kinda relaxed and hung out with my parents. it's funny to think that, at one point in my life, i thought they were the biggest dorks. now they're two of my best friends...
saturday night brandon and i went cruising through bloomsburg like the cool kids we are. haha... it was so great. we listened to dumb music and did a little car dancing. then we went to visit his friends, carrie and michelle, who are loads of fun. after that we came back to my house and sat on the couch talking (for about 4 hours) about everything from the war on terror to relationships and just about everything in between. i honestly think that if i had a brother, he would be just like brandon. growing up i always wanted a big brother that would look out for me. i couldn't have a "real" older brother, so God gave me brandon. so beyond getting the sisters that i never thought i'd have, i got a brother too (when one of them fell in love with the crazy kid
). i'm a very lucky girl.
today i went to church, which is always good. i got to talk to miss joan for a little while. she's so encouraging. then ma and i went out to penn state lehman for the craft show and met my aunt annie, aunt susie, uncle tony, and my cousin kelly. the family thing overall is still pretty dismal, but there are good things too. i've gotten a lot closer to some of my aunts, uncles, and cousins, and i'm happy about that. gotta focus on the positive...
on that note, i'm off to bed. g'night kids... much love...
friday night i just kinda relaxed and hung out with my parents. it's funny to think that, at one point in my life, i thought they were the biggest dorks. now they're two of my best friends...
saturday night brandon and i went cruising through bloomsburg like the cool kids we are. haha... it was so great. we listened to dumb music and did a little car dancing. then we went to visit his friends, carrie and michelle, who are loads of fun. after that we came back to my house and sat on the couch talking (for about 4 hours) about everything from the war on terror to relationships and just about everything in between. i honestly think that if i had a brother, he would be just like brandon. growing up i always wanted a big brother that would look out for me. i couldn't have a "real" older brother, so God gave me brandon. so beyond getting the sisters that i never thought i'd have, i got a brother too (when one of them fell in love with the crazy kid
). i'm a very lucky girl.today i went to church, which is always good. i got to talk to miss joan for a little while. she's so encouraging. then ma and i went out to penn state lehman for the craft show and met my aunt annie, aunt susie, uncle tony, and my cousin kelly. the family thing overall is still pretty dismal, but there are good things too. i've gotten a lot closer to some of my aunts, uncles, and cousins, and i'm happy about that. gotta focus on the positive...
on that note, i'm off to bed. g'night kids... much love...
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