On Sunday during Life Group, we talked about how we met our
spouses and the early days or our relationships. Matt and I told the story of
how, after only 2 weeks of dating, I told him we were going to get married. If
you’re reading this and you knew me back then (and have somehow never heard
this story), I’ll wait a minute for you to pick yourself up off the floor
before I go on.
Ready?
Yeah, I was not one to readily and easily express my
feelings for other people, especially the guys I dated. As is the case for most
young people, I had been hurt plenty of times prior to meeting Matt, and in
previous relationships was of the opinion that I would not, under any
circumstances, share my feelings about the other person unless they made a
major expression of love and undying commitment to me. Looking back, I realize
how unlikely that would be given how guarded I was in those relationships. Of
course, it was also a good thing that I was that guarded in those prior
relationships because I was not meant to be with those people, but I digress.
I still remember looking at Matt in the car parked at the
Pequea boat launch on the Susquehanna river (we had gone for a drive and were
discussing our relationship) and telling him that we were going to get married.
I only vaguely remember his reaction because my brain was fighting with itself:
“What in the world just came out of your mouth? Are you
insane”.
“Eh, whatever. When you know, you know, right?”.
I don’t actually remember what Matt said in response to this
declaration, but we’ve been married for 7 and a half years now, so I’d say it
worked out alright.
Whenever we tell this story I’m reminded of the way I felt
in that moment, telling him that we would get married. I was completely at
peace. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was right. We were going to get
married. At the time I didn’t really think much about this phenomenon, but in
the years since I’ve realized just how completely in control of my actions I
was not. As I said before, this is NOT something that I would normally do. I
can’t even tell you how earth-shatteringly uncharacteristic this was for me.
What I’ve concluded is that God took over my heart and my mouth that night so
that I would say exactly what Matt (who didn’t know it at the time, but has
since realized it to be true) needed to hear to begin to overcome his fear of commitment
(that’s his story to tell, so I won’t explain the reasons behind that here).
Now, please don’t think that I’m taking any credit for allowing
God to have control in that area. I was not there yet, so I give all credit for
this situation turning out this way to the people who were praying for my
future marriage for many years (my parents actually started praying for me and
my future spouse while my mom was still pregnant with me).
What telling this story also reminded me of is how all these
years later, I would do it all over again without question. In fact, I might
not even wait 2 weeks. Marrying this man was the single best decision I’ve ever
made in my life. I had no idea at the time how much more I would love him
almost 8 years later, or how much more I would be proud of him for who he is,
how he loves me and our kids, how he parents our children, how he leads in his
job, & how much passion he puts into all of this work. Because he chooses to put Jesus first in his
life, the people he interacts with are better off, especially me and our
children.
I’m so thankful for the prayers of the faithful people in my
life and Matt’s, and that God has blessed us with each other (I’m pretty sure
Matt would agree that I’m a blessing in his life… most days. 😉).
Here we are about a month into our relationship... 2 weeks after I told him we were going to get married. 😂
Here we are about a month into our relationship... 2 weeks after I told him we were going to get married. 😂
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