The Art of Breathing

Sometimes waiting for answers makes be feel like I can't breathe.

This week I've had difficulty breathing, both literally & figuratively. Davyd caught a cold somehow (what is the deal with summer colds?!?!), and of course, then Matt & I caught it as well. Let's face it, neither of us has much of an immune system at the moment. We are a pregnant woman & a man with an auto-immune disease. We are sitting ducks. 

I, obviously hate being sick, but I'm even more cranky about it when I'm also pregnant. I mean really, as if growing a human inside my body isn't difficult enough-- we have to add a cold to the mix? What makes me even more cranky is not being home when I'm sick. We are in Ohio this week, partially on business for Matt & partially to visit some family (it has been quite a whirlwind of a week. My husband often resembles a tornado to me, but it's especially twirly when he's working so hard). So we've been staying in a hotel, which does not have my comforts that I count on when I'm sick, and this has made me grouchy. However, one thing that has been enjoyable is the fact that I don't have have any laundry to do or anything to clean or straighten. This has given me the opportunity to read while my son sleeps. On Wednesday, I read 3 different works on worry. I know this is not a coincidence, because I was having an exceptionally hard time breathing on Wednesday (again, literally & figuratively). I was so focused on not having the answer that I've been craving, I was finding it nearly impossible to breathe. 

I've been waiting for an answer about a potentially exciting change, but as I've been waiting, I've allowed myself to worry so much that the excitement has worn off. 

So on Wednesday, I decided to exhale. I was challenged to stop worrying & talk to God about it instead (a novel idea, I know). Doing this has always proven helpful in the past, but for some reason, I'm constantly re-learning this lesson: I can do nothing about it, so talking to myself (worrying) about it is useless. God can (and will) do something about it, so He is the one I should talk to. 

Breathing has become easier since Wednesday, as long as I remember to exhale.