did you ever have one of those days when you felt uncomfortable in your own skin?

that's me today. i'm nervous, anxious, confused, frustrated, and bored. oh, and we mustn't forget lonely. i have so many things to think about, and quite a bit to do in the next few weeks, but i can't do anything about any of it right now (and for some of it, there's nothing i can do ever). i hate feeling helpless and useless, and (here's the crux of it) out of control. i hate to admit it, but i like being in control of things. i like knowing exactly what's going to happen next, and how i'm going to do it. i hate waiting for things to happen. i hate not knowing what's going to happen. i especially hate not knowing what i even want to happen.

what i'd really like is to be settled. just... settled.

i don't think that's too much to ask.

i know some day i will be, and i'll look back at my life and laugh at myself for being so impatient. unfortunately, that doesn't exactly help me out right now. i wish i could be content. i think i was actually doing pretty well with that for a while, but now that i have nothing to do all day but think, i'm back to being discontented.

i know that someday i'll be settled, but today i just don't feel like it's ever going to happen...




forgive my whining...

love to all...



"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" -Jeremiah 29:11