i had a lovely surprise last night. jay came down to lancaster to go to a baseball game and i got to go with him. we had a great time. i even won a dozen roses.

i have great friends... life is good...

*sigh*... can't wait to get home this weekend...

happy birthday, markus carkus!

i officially quit my job at gadzooks tonight. it was awesome. i'm so relieved that i will only be working there a few more days. tonight my manager stood in the doorway of the store talking to a friend and her boyfriend from 5:30 until 7:50. yes, i timed her because this happens all the time. she definitely told me and my co-workers to work on shipment because she "shouldn't have to do it" and then proceeded to stand around talking for almost two and a half hours. i cannot tell you how angry that made me. i wish i was more assertive. i day-dreamed of telling her that i wasn't going to work anymore if she continued standing there doing nothing. i wish i could do things like that. i just don't have the guts. she wasn't very happy when i told her i was starting at the bank on the 27th. she told me i couldn't use her as a reference for future jobs. i wanted to tell her that i wouldn't use her as a reference in a million years because she is the most irresponsible, unprofessional person i've ever worked for, but again, i didn't have the guts. *sigh* maybe one day i'll learn to be more assertive.

on a fairly different note... i have to say i'm still frustrated with church. well... maybe not church, just some people at church. i cannot understand why these people think that women should not be in positions of leadership. there is nothing intrinsic about a woman that makes her unable to be a leader. this is the 21st century. we're not cave people. this shouldn't even be an issue. i also can't understand why these people get so upset about others' choice of clothing. evidently something as insignificant as clothing is more important to these people than caring for students. what kind of message are we sending them if we're arguing over wardrobe? i will say that there are other individuals at church for whom i'm very thankful (they tend to be the people who are more open-minded). so i'll try to focus on the positive aspects of church in order to keep myself sane. forgive my rant... i'm just so tired of close-mindedness.

i feel much better now, so i'm off to bed... g'night all... much love...

katie and i are soul-roommates.

last night before we went to bed we both put the same lyrics to "feeling this" by blink 182 in our away messages (without knowing the other one had done so). i would say we spend too much time together, but we don't anymore now that she's home for the summer. maybe our brains communicate silently over a distance. it could happen.

i just found out today that green day and jimmy eat world are playing in philly in september and i can't get tickets!!!!!! i'm so sad! katie and i thought maybe we could just get separate tickets and just stand together somewhere, but we don't know if they'd let us do that. has anyone been to a concert there before? if you have, let me know if you think we'd be able to do that.

on a very different note... i'm thoroughly frustrated and confused by someone tonight (and have been for some time). i'm just not understanding why things are the way they are right now. i'm usually good at figuring people out, but this person is quite a challenge. i really value their friendship... but i need some kind of reciprocation...

and now i need to stop thinking and go to bed. i hope everyone is well... much love...

from Nicholas Sparks' latest novel, True Believer...

"One day, you're going to learn something that can't be explained with science. And when that happens, your life's going to change in ways you can't imagine..."



the past few days have brought with them several unexpected joys... i have great friends... it's good to be alive...



i hope everyone is well... much love...

i can't find my brian regan cd!!!!

well i was a little skeptical about my birthday, but i have to say i had the best day. i woke up to several birthday greetings... and got some others throughout the day. my parents took me to olive garden for lunch, then later all my buds up here came over for dessert and then took me out for some drinks. it was a great night. i couldn't ask for better friends. thanks for making my birthday special, guys. i love you more than words can say...

woo! 21 in 2 days!!! hehe

if you're in the bloomsburg area on monday night, come on over... we're havin' peach trifle!

i really hate not being needed...

i'm quite restless tonight. i got into bed around 12. it is now 1:30 and i still haven't fallen asleep (obviously). i have a lot on my mind... some things i need to think about, some i really don't. i'm remembering my past... and wondering about my future. i can't change the past and i can't predict the future, so i wish i could just stop thinking and fall asleep. i can't say that i'm a fan of nights like these...

i'm such a sucker for surveys. this one was stolen from miss abigail schleinkofer...

[my name is]: jessica lynne bird
[height?]: 5'3"
[in the morning i am]: totally useless
[all i need is]: "love, love... love is all you need..."
[love is]: a mystery
[i'm afraid of]: being hurt... hurting someone else
[i dream about]: lately i've had several dreams about ex-boyfriends... they were all hanging out together... little weird.
-H A V E . Y O U . E V E R-
[been in love]: yep
[cried when someone died]: absolutely
[lied]: yeah
-W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[coke or pepsi]: i don't really like either, but pepsi's better
[flowers or candy]: if the candy is chocolate... definitely candy
[tall or short]: hhhmm... depends on what we're talking about...
-W I T H . T H E . O P P O S I T E . S E X-
[what do you notice first?]: eyes... mmm... eyes
[last person you slow danced with]: probably jay... haha... nothing like dancing to no music ;)
[worst question to ask]: uh... no idea
-W H O-
[makes you laugh?]: katie patatie... pretty much all my friends
[makes you smile]: my friends...
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: ...
[who do you have a crush on?]: let's see... johnny depp, ewan mcgregor...
[has a crush on you?]: hah. i'm gonna guess no one
[easiest to talk to]: katie, sarah, mark, ryan, jay, mama :)
-D O . Y O U . E V E R-
[Stay on aim, waitin for someone special to IM you]: bleck.
[save aol/aim conversations]: trillian saves them automatically... sometimes that's not so good for me...
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: oh heavens no!
[cry because of someone saying something to you]: i wish i could say i was stronger than that, but i'm not
-H A V E . Y O U . E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: yep. it was rough, but i'm hopeful that the friendship will be restored...
[been rejected?]: yep
[rejected someone]: yeah :(
[used someone]: unfortunately, i think i have.
[done something you regret]: oh yeah. many things...
-W H O . W A S . T H E . L A S T . P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: probably ma
[hugged]: katie
[you instant messaged]: boober
[instant messaged you?]: markus carkus
[you laughed with]:the kateness
-D O . Y O U / / A R E . Y O U-
[color your hair]: nope
[habla espanol]: ugh
[smoke cigarettes]: ew
[obsessive]: with certain things
[could you live without the computer?]: probably not
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: there are no peeps on my buddy list. there are a little over 100 people on it though...
[what's your favorite food?]: any kind of pasta
[whats your favorite fruit?]: grapes
[drink alcohol?]: i'm gonna plead the 5th on this one too since i won't be 21 for another couple days...
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: sunsets... sigh... i love sunsets!
[what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?]: emotional. without a doubt.
[trust others way too easily?]: ha. trust? what's that?