i think i need therapy.

i can't understand why i allow myself to get so stressed out that it makes me physically ill. the things going on in my life right now aren't even that stressful. i don't understand myself, and i think i need counseling. i really hate this aspect of myself. it seems so weak to me to respond to situations this way, and those who know me know how much i dislike being weak. so today i decided i was going to choose to think positively, and not worry about things that i have no control over. i was going to enjoy life for what it is. i did fairly well, but still found myself worrying and stressing from time to time. i never realized how much of a control freak i am until lately. i don't know if i've changed or if i've simply begun to notice this part of my personality. either way, i don't like it. i want to enjoy every minute of my life-- even the unknown (which is my least favorite aspect of life right now). i want to see the unknown as something exciting, not terrifying. i want to lose my fear of falling...