Abide

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.”

 -Psalm 91:1

I’m pretty dutiful about my morning “quiet time”. Once I get into a routine, it’s difficult for me to get out of it (the phrase “stuck in her ways” can absolutely be used to describe yours truly). I love to-do lists, and checking off boxes. Quiet time: check! What I’m not good at is dwelling.

I’m not good at keeping my attention directed on the truth that I read sometimes just minutes before.

This verse from Psalms has been popping up a lot lately. Whenever that happens I try to take some time to reflect on it and ponder how it might apply to my current life circumstances.

So I read and re-read this verse and my thoughts began to point to my tendency to worry about my current or future life circumstances. When I do that, I’m not dwelling (directing my attention) in the shelter of the Most High. I’m relying on my own ingenuity. That’s not going to get me far, and it’s only going to cause more anxiety. But, if I direct my attention to God and His perfect care for me, I will abide (remain in a stable, fixed state) in the shadow of the Almighty.

I can tell you that I have spent much time abiding in a shadow—a shadow of fear and doubt—and that’s not a place I’d like to spend any more time. Abiding in the Shadow of the Almighty sounds pretty good!

So, how does one do that? By keeping Scripture at the forefront of your mind, and spending time in prayer. There are a few things that have helped me to do this more lately.

One, I started a prayer journal using the ACTS format (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication). Each day I record my praises (A-Adoration) from something I read that morning. For example, I’ve been studying Hebrews over the past few weeks, so one of my praises is that Jesus is the better sacrifice. I confess my sin, repent of it, and ask God to change my heart and make me more like Himself. I thank Him for the wonderful blessings that He’s given to me, and I ask Him to work in specific areas in my life and in the lives of those I love.

Another way that I’ve been keeping Scripture in the forefront of my mind is writing it on a notecard and keeping it on my desk. I try to read that Scripture as I go through my day. I’m also helping my kids memorize verses. We have the mini scripture cards from Crew + Co, and we read our current verse every day on our way to school.

I have also purchased jewelry that helps me to keep Scripture on my mind. I’m currently wearing the Parallel bracelet from Dear Mushka, which comes with this corresponding verse: “You make known to me the paths of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore”. -Psalm 16:11. Katie, the owner of Dear Mushka, has great tips for Scripture memorization, and my prayer journal is modeled after hers!

There is no quick fix to managing fear, anxiety, and doubt (barring a miraculous work of God). However, the habits of meditating on His Word, preaching to ourselves about who God is, and spending time communing with him through prayer will decrease fear, anxiety, and doubt because it will increase our knowledge, love, and dependence upon Jesus. He is the Wonderful Counselor!

His Strength is Made Perfect in Our Weakness (written for my church's devotional)

Read: John 18

Reflect:
Oh, Peter. I get you. In my younger years (and sometimes even more recently), I judged Peter for his wrong actions. I would think things like, “Why would you cut the guy’s ear off? How does that help anything? Don’t you realize that God in the flesh is standing right next to you and is in control of this situation? Ugh. What is wrong with you, Peter?” Then later, when he denies Jesus 3 times, I would think to myself, Oh, I would never, could never do that! How could Peter do such a thing and only hours before have the boldness to declare that he wouldn’t let anything happen to Jesus? I imagine you have had similar thoughts while reading this passage. As God has grown my faith and understanding of who He is, I have come to realize that Peter and I have an awful lot in common. So often, when tense or difficult circumstances arise, I want to do as Peter did in the garden and take matters into my own hands. I fail to trust that God is in control of my circumstances and that even when things seem very bleak and out of control, He is working for my good and His glory. Although I may not flat out ever say that I don’t know Jesus, I know that I deny him with my actions. My attitudes of pride, fear, anger, rebellion, etc. all deny the truth that I know about God.

Apply:
Yet, there is hope! Peter may have messed up, but God made a way of forgiveness through Jesus, and used Peter to build his church! He will continue to use imperfect people like you, me, and Peter as we allow Him to work through us. As Scripture says in 1 Corinthians 12:9, “9 But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”  Thanks be to God that he gave us His Spirit to enable us to do His work! So, if you’re feeling like a failure today, know that you’re in good company (people dependent on God’s grace), and most importantly, that you have a generous Savior who helps us in our weakness to magnify His strength! Pray that God will use you today and help you to grow through your failures.

The Triumphal Entry (written for my church's devotional)

Read:
John 12
 
Reflect:
        John Chapter 12 contains an account of the Triumphal Entry of Jesus into Jerusalem. A crowd gathered to celebrate Jesus’ arrival. While they were gathered, Jesus told them that He would die, and through his death and resurrection he would defeat Satan, and bring all people to Himself. The crowd believed, but many were afraid to say so because they were afraid of what other people would think. Scripture says, “Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, so that they would not be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God” (v. 42-43).
         Do I love the glory (or approval) that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God? Do you? I think the resounding truth for all of us is that yes, there are times that we love the approval of humans more than the approval of God. Why is that? Well, sometimes it’s easier for us to see approval of other people because it is physically right in front of us. We audibly hear the accolades from people around us; we visually see the comments on Instagram, Facebook, and other social media platforms.
         In this life, it is so easy to get caught up in seeking the approval of the world. We want flesh and blood assurance that we are accepted. However, the Gospel tells us that our only approval is through the blood of Jesus. He alone loved us enough to carry our sins and die to save us from them. It should follow that we would value the glory that comes from Him more than what comes from man. God alone holds the power to deem us “approved”. The opinion of the world means nothing in light of Jesus’ sacrifice, yet we continually forget, and seek worldly glory. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the approval of the people in your life. The problem lies in seeking that above the approval of God.
        Praise God that we can confess this sin to Him, repent and turn from it. We can trust that we are forgiven because Jesus paid the penalty for every sin you and I have ever committed and will ever commit. Why would we seek the glory that comes from anyone else above the glory that comes from Him? When we keep our hearts and minds focused on eternity, the glory of the world pales in comparison to the glory of God.
 
Apply:
            Take some time to talk with God about where you are in this area. Ask Him if there is anything you are doing or avoiding doing because you are afraid of what people will think. Confess that to Him. Repent, and ask Him to give you the grace to be obedient.

Bread of Life

I've recently been given the privilege of writing for our church's devotional! Here is my contribution on John 6: 

Read: John 6

Reflect:

I have a confession. I am a carbohydrate junkie. My go-to comfort foods are pasta and bread. There is nothing like a slice of fresh baked bread slathered with butter, or ribbon noodles tossed in a velvety, creamy sauce. It can be so satisfying to mop up that leftover sauce with a nice hunk of crusty bread. But as satisfying as that is in the moment, the flavors fade. Very quickly after that last bite, I start to get hungry again. My favorite comfort food are not ultimately satisfying. Nothing on this earth is. The good news is that Jesus is.

John 6:35, Jesus tells the group that has been following him that He is the Bread of Life. He says, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst”. We are constantly bombarded by messages that promise satisfaction: “Buy this car, take this trip, get this job and you’ll be satisfied!” I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life that I’ve bought into those claims. The thing is, when I’ve bought that new car, taken that trip, or gotten that job, any satisfaction I found in it quickly faded.

In this passage, we see a large group of people gather to hear from Jesus, he feeds them in a miraculous way, then leaves them, and then they gather to hear from him again. In this conversation in verses 22-59, Jesus tells the people that the signs they were looking for- like the manna from heaven that their forefathers ate- would not satisfy them either. Even the good gifts God gives are not fully satisfying. Only He is. In verses 54-56 Jesus says, “Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him”. When we “feed on his flesh and drink his blood”—that is, believe and trust Jesus as our Savior and have a relationship with him, he abides in us. We have this hope in Jesus: that he is our ultimate satisfaction. He alone sustains, remains constant, and satisfies.

Apply:

            If you have a relationship with Jesus, you can trust that he will sustain you. In those moments when you’re tempted to look to other things for your satisfaction, ask God to show you how He alone is your satisfaction.

Macaroni & Cheese Faith

Eating lunch with my daughter today reminded me of what faith looks like. 

This girl loves macaroni and cheese like no one else I know (and that's saying something because a love of cheesy pasta runs deep in this family). Even at 2, she knows how to savor something good. She murmurs "mmmm" and other appreciative noises as she closes her eyes and takes another bite. She is not at all concerned that the macaroni and cheese will run out before she has had her fill. She has faith that more will appear when she needs it, 

I envy this ability she has, and I want to cultivate it in my life. 

See, I know that God will provide all of my needs (Philippians 4:19 "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus), but I don't live like it. Instead of savoring the good gifts God gives me, I tend to either hoard them in fear of losing them, or I don't even pay attention to them. I'm blinded to his provisions because I'm focused on my will and desires rather than His. 

So, how do we cultivate this macaroni and cheese kind of faith? How do we learn to savor God's good gifts? I think there are several ways. 

First, begin our days with thanksgiving. When we get into the habit of identifying and verbalizing the things we are grateful for, our hearts and minds will being to be more focused on God's provision than our perceived lack. 

Second, spend time studying and meditating on God's Word. Throughout Scripture we see evidence of God's gracious provisions, and we can trust that just as God provided mana for a bunch of ungrateful Israelites, so too will he provide for us. We may not always get the same amount of macaroni and cheese that we want. In fact, we may not even get any, but we can always trust that whatever God gives or withholds is for our good and His glory.

Rainbows

Our church is having VBS this week, and I've had the pleasure of being there to help with registration and other various tasks. Last night, while the kids were all in their assigned stations, a gorgeous rainbow appeared in the sky in front of the chuch. It was probably the most perfect rainbow I've ever seen in my life-- vibrant enough to see every color, visible from one end to the other, and a double! Several other adults and I went out to take pictures and remarked on how infrequently we have had the pleasure of seeing such a perfect rainbow. It was a beautiful reminder of God's goodness, which incidentally, is the theme of VBS this year (if you visit us any time soon, you will hear my boys recitinv some version of "When life is ____, God is good!").

Shortly before the rainbow disappeared, Davyd's group went outside to see it. By this point only part of it was visible and it was very light, but they were still astounded by it. On the way home, the boys and I talked about rainbows being signs of God's promise to never again destroy the earth by a flood, like He did in the time of Noah. They both thought it was "super cool" for God to make a promise like that. Later, while we recounted all of this to Matt, Davyd told us that seeing the rainbow assured him that God is real (no, my 6 year old did not use the word "assured", but I can't remember his exact words, so I'm paraphrasing). 

As I reflected on that conversation later, I was touched by the way that God came close to Davyd last night and revealed Himself to him. He does this for all of us in one way or another. The thing is, He doesn't have to. He doesn't need us, or anything for that matter. He is all-sufficient, lacking in nothing, but He desires to be near His people. What a blessing it was to witness my son recognizing God's presence! May I pause often and long enough to do the same. 

The Goodness of the Lord

Lately I’ve been struggling to believe that God will continue to give me good things in this life. Intellectually, I know the ridiculousness of this. God has given me many good things, and continues to do so daily. 

The issue is that there are some specific things that I really want— things that I believe to be good desires. I currently can’t see any indication that these things will happen and that’s where I’m getting tripped up. My focus is on myself, and this life, rather than on eternity. 

The truth is, in this life, there is uncertainty, pain, and disappointment. We can never be sure that we will get the specific things that we want— even if they are good, holy desires. But we can always see God’s goodness in every circumstance if we choose to see it. 

Today I’m asking God to give me a heart that sees the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living, because even (and especially) when I’m not getting what I want when I want it, I know that God is working for my good (to make me more like him) and His glory (Romans 8:28).

This is Not Your Own Doing

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” -Ephesians 2:8-9

I grew up in the church. I went to a Christian school from Kindergarten through 12^th grade. I can literally remember memorizing this verse at Awana as a kid.

But recently, it began to hold a new meaning for me.

Have you ever felt the need to work for the approval of someone? What did it feel like when you didn’t feel like they were happy with your work? How did that affect your thoughts about yourself? How did that affect your thoughts in general? What was your focus? How did it affect your behavior?

When I am focused on gaining the approval of other people, what I’m really focused on is myself. How I measure up. How I can work better, harder, faster, etc. This causes insecurity, because I can’t please everyone. In fact, I can’t please anyone all the time. What a relief it is to know that I don’t have to work to earn God’s approval.

As a wife, mother, friend, employee, etc. I have so many things to do, so many things to keep track of: laundry, meal-planning, diaper changes, monitoring homework, grocery shopping, school drop-off, school pick-up, meetings, projects, teaching—the list goes on.  If I had to add to that trying to gain the approval of a holy God, I’d be sunk. I can’t do it. None of us can.

God has been reminding me lately of the relief and freedom of that truth of the Gospel. As women, moms, humans we tend to work for the approval of other people. With God, we don’t need to do that. God doesn’t ask us to work for his approval. In fact, he tells us that we can never earn it. Apart from Christ, we cannot be approved. It is only through the work of Jesus on the cross that we can come to the Father and accept His ultimate approval.

God gives us this free gift so that we can have fellowship with him, and ultimately, so that He can be glorified, so that we cannot boast in our own works or abilities, but only in the work of Jesus and the glory of God the Father.

Early in my career, I was hired at a counseling agency in  an administrative role. I was so excited to begin! After working hard to receive my Master’s of Social Work, I was thrilled to be in a supervisory role. I was excited to lead and influence a team of people working with children with mental health challenges. Unfortunately, I quickly learned that my supervisors were not exactly supportive, and the agency was pretty dysfunctional. I wasn’t able to reach the standards that the administration expected of me, which I knew were impossible, but still made me feel like I was deficient in some way. My dream of being in a leadership role quickly became a nightmare, and I began to sink into despair and insecurity. I began feeling anxious all the time. My thoughts were focused on myself and what I could do better. I would daydream about being offered some amazing job somewhere else and excelling at it, and then running into my old bosses and bragging about how great I was. It was gross. I tried to do the “right thing” and kept telling myself to work for God and not for man, but even in that my focus was on myself and what I was doing. Thankfully, God quickly provided a way of escape, and I moved on to a different type of position at a different agency, but even though my working environment is much better now, insecurity still follows me. I think it follows all of us if we focus on ourselves and not on the God who gives us the gifts and talents to do the work He has for us.

Praise God that I don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations in order to gain salvation. We can never be good enough to stand in the presence of a holy God without the saving grace of Jesus. That doesn’t mean that we should act however we want. As Paul says in Romans 6:1-2, “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” It means we must and can only depend on the grace and mercy of God through faith in Jesus for our redemption and restoration. What a relief!