lyric of the moment...
they say we've been looking for illegal immigrants
can we check your car
i say you know it's funny
i think we were on the same boat back in 1694
-indigo girls "shame on you"
so i've been a college graduate for almost a month now, and i'm still not sure i know how i feel about it. i'm not sure i'm ready to grow up, but i have no choice. life is changing a mile a minute, and i'm not doing a very good job of keeping up with it.
i'm not fond of friends being far away. my biggest wish at the moment is that all the people i love could be in the same place at the same time... all the time. i'm always hesitant about making new friends, probably cause i'm not very good at it, and there have been very few times in my life that i've met someone new and they turned out to be a really great friend. that makes the friends i have special though. i just wish they were closer.
it's funny... i want everyone to stay in the area (and others to move to it), and all the while i'm thinking about where i'm going to be in 2 years. at this point i have no idea. i could be across the country... or in another one. who knows. the thought both excites and terrifies me at the same time. i don't like change, but at the same time, i like knowing that there are more adventures out there for me. my life is such a dichotomy sometimes.
Friday, May 26, 2006
so this is my last night in this dreadful apartment. woo!!!
as much as i'm not going to miss this place, i am going to miss all the late night chats and lazy afternoons of watching food network with the roommate. i'm sure we haven't had our last late night chat or our last afternoon of food network, but things certainly won't be the same anymore. i'm really gonna miss millersville too. i feel like i just got settled, and now i'm leaving. it really doesn't help that i'm moving to scranton, or as i like to call it, the armpit of pennsylvania. i wish i was excited about moving on to the next phase of my life, but instead i'm kinda terrified. *sigh* i am so bad at change...
as much as i'm not going to miss this place, i am going to miss all the late night chats and lazy afternoons of watching food network with the roommate. i'm sure we haven't had our last late night chat or our last afternoon of food network, but things certainly won't be the same anymore. i'm really gonna miss millersville too. i feel like i just got settled, and now i'm leaving. it really doesn't help that i'm moving to scranton, or as i like to call it, the armpit of pennsylvania. i wish i was excited about moving on to the next phase of my life, but instead i'm kinda terrified. *sigh* i am so bad at change...
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
song for the day...
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that'll never happen.
This table has taken a turn for the worst,
Rock bottom and over the edge
Well it’s not like it hurts that much anyway.
Upside-down and inside-out,
When I leave here I’m going alone
Well it’s not like, not like it, hurts much anyway.
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something, something…
This balance has weighed out our heart’s desire,
I’m trying to make it alone.
Well it’s not like it hurts that much anyway.
Upside-down and inside out,
When I leave here I’m going alone
But I’m dying, I’m dying, to touch..’
And it’s not like it, not like it hurts much anyway.
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that’ll never happen.
Did you hear what I have to (say)….
Attention Attention
Upside-down and inside-out
Attention Attention
Upside-down and inside-out
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that’ll never happen.
Did you hear what I have to (say)...
-The Academy Is... "Attention"
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that'll never happen.
This table has taken a turn for the worst,
Rock bottom and over the edge
Well it’s not like it hurts that much anyway.
Upside-down and inside-out,
When I leave here I’m going alone
Well it’s not like, not like it, hurts much anyway.
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something, something…
This balance has weighed out our heart’s desire,
I’m trying to make it alone.
Well it’s not like it hurts that much anyway.
Upside-down and inside out,
When I leave here I’m going alone
But I’m dying, I’m dying, to touch..’
And it’s not like it, not like it hurts much anyway.
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that’ll never happen.
Did you hear what I have to (say)….
Attention Attention
Upside-down and inside-out
Attention Attention
Upside-down and inside-out
Attention! Attention!
May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room,
If only, if only for one second.
Will you hear what I have to say?
Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that’ll never happen.
Did you hear what I have to (say)...
-The Academy Is... "Attention"
Monday, May 15, 2006
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
i hate feeling like i'm being used.
i hate feeling like i'm being left behind.
i hate feeling like i'm falling.
i hate feeling like i have no place to land.
i hate how much i miss the way things used to be.
i hate feeling like i'm the only one who misses it.
i hate feeling like everything's changing except me...
i hate feeling like i'm being left behind.
i hate feeling like i'm falling.
i hate feeling like i have no place to land.
i hate how much i miss the way things used to be.
i hate feeling like i'm the only one who misses it.
i hate feeling like everything's changing except me...
Thursday, April 13, 2006
i'm having an "i miss old friends" day today. there's something so comforting about people who have known you a long time... i really hope i get to see these people soon... it's been way too long...
besides feeling very nostalgic today, i am stressed to the max with school. i about had a nervous breakdown last night when i found out that my project for research methods is going to be quite a bit more involved than i originally thought. i hate how i allow things like that to affect me so much, so i'm trying to just let it go, and trust that it will all work out. this is not easy for me. i'm good at holding on... not letting go... but the thing is, all i can do is my best... the rest is out of my hands...
on a very different note, mark sent me the link to this video today about 9/11... pretty heavy stuff... check it out (i only watched the first 10 minutes or so, but what i saw was very well done... better than fahrenheit 9/11, if you ask me)
on that note, i'm off to work... love to all...
besides feeling very nostalgic today, i am stressed to the max with school. i about had a nervous breakdown last night when i found out that my project for research methods is going to be quite a bit more involved than i originally thought. i hate how i allow things like that to affect me so much, so i'm trying to just let it go, and trust that it will all work out. this is not easy for me. i'm good at holding on... not letting go... but the thing is, all i can do is my best... the rest is out of my hands...
on a very different note, mark sent me the link to this video today about 9/11... pretty heavy stuff... check it out (i only watched the first 10 minutes or so, but what i saw was very well done... better than fahrenheit 9/11, if you ask me)
on that note, i'm off to work... love to all...
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
Sunday, March 12, 2006
16This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
17If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:16-18
17If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:16-18
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
First of all thanks for listening to our song
We hope this finds you driving in your car
or where ever you are breathe out and breathe again
know that life is hard, but its worth breathing,
listen to me now for love, oh love, It's waiting for you just to say
here come better days
here come better days
better days, and a better place I know.
Secondly I'm all messed up so royally
I stumbled my way here, but wait,
oh wait grace has found me
shaken up my soul, grace will follow
wherever you will go, listen to me now grace,
oh grace, is calling for you just to say
here come better days
here come better days,
better days, and a better place I know.
Green grass and I'm laying in the sunlight of you,
the wind is moving through the trees blustering you,
and the better days you bring, the better places found,
feasting at your table I'm overwhelmed,
and I lift my glass drink to those who never gave up,
clouds pass fading into memories gone,
and all I know for life is life and love and peace,
what else could there be?
here come better days,
oh here come better days,
better days, and a better place I know
-Robbie Seay Band "Better Days"
We hope this finds you driving in your car
or where ever you are breathe out and breathe again
know that life is hard, but its worth breathing,
listen to me now for love, oh love, It's waiting for you just to say
here come better days
here come better days
better days, and a better place I know.
Secondly I'm all messed up so royally
I stumbled my way here, but wait,
oh wait grace has found me
shaken up my soul, grace will follow
wherever you will go, listen to me now grace,
oh grace, is calling for you just to say
here come better days
here come better days,
better days, and a better place I know.
Green grass and I'm laying in the sunlight of you,
the wind is moving through the trees blustering you,
and the better days you bring, the better places found,
feasting at your table I'm overwhelmed,
and I lift my glass drink to those who never gave up,
clouds pass fading into memories gone,
and all I know for life is life and love and peace,
what else could there be?
here come better days,
oh here come better days,
better days, and a better place I know
-Robbie Seay Band "Better Days"
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
ah, james... i love james...
1My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism.
2Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in.
3If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet,"
4have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?
15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.
16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?
-James 2:1-4 & 14-16
1My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism.
2Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in.
3If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet,"
4have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?
15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.
16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?
-James 2:1-4 & 14-16
Sunday, February 26, 2006
yes, today is sunday. no, i didn't go to church.
for quite some time now, my desire to be involved in church has been on what may best be described as a roller-coaster ride. my "distaste" for some aspects of the church (and by this i mean the "community of believers"-- a.k.a. christians) began during my sophomore year in high school. i went to a conservative christian school in bloomsburg, whose leaders tended (in my opinion) to be comprable to the pharisees described in the new testament. in my experience, many of the leaders of this school failed to love as Christ loved. they had very stringent standards of dress, behavior, attitudes, and opinions that could not be defied or even questioned without some kind of reproach. (in contrast, most of the teachers i had were wonderful examples of Christ's love, and i am truly thankful for them.) before i go on, i will say that i don't mean to berate these individuals. we are all human, and i am just as capable of mistreating people as they are. i am merely using them as an example to explain my feelings about the church.
there are many examples stored in my memory that i could recount for you, but i don't think they're necessary in making my point. i will just say this: there were many situations in which individuals involved in the school (teachers and students) were in need of some compassion, but instead were attacked and scolded for what was seen as their "shortcomings". naturally, i became fairly angry and hurt about this mistreatment, and because i was young and immature, i allowed what began as "righteous anger" to turn into bitterness.
in the year that followed, painful situations escalated at school. in addition, my beloved piano teacher passed away prematurely from heart disease, my boyfriend at the time was deployed to kuwait for six months, my youth pastor and his wife moved away in order for him to continue his education, and several major disagreements errupted in my church. the combination of all these situations caused a flood of questions to flow through my mind. the most prominent of which was, "if this is how christians treat people, do i really want to be labeled as one?"
with the assistance of time and several loving mentors, i began to understand that the hurtful behavior of the individuals mentioned before was not christianity, the basis for which is love, grace, and acceptance. this realization didn't solve much for me. yes, it answered the question of what christianity is really all about, but it also induced another, perhaps bigger question: "how do we accomplish this?" this is a question that i still often ask myself. i think it's a question that we need to never stop asking. how do we love as Christ loved? how do we become, as my youth pastor so poignantly described it, "jesus with skin on"? obviously, there is no easy answer, but i think that at the core, we must stop focusing on ourselves. last week i drove through a little town outside of lancaster called conestoga, and noticed the sign in front of one of the churches on the main road. it said, "at the center of sin is i". i think we can all agree it's a bit cheezy, but i think the point is valuable. until christians stop focusing on ourselves, we will continue to hurt those around us and fail in our calling to love.
all this to say that today i was thinking about why i didn't want to go to church this morning. there are many reasons. some are purely personal that i just need to get over, and some are more, fundamental, if you will. i think the christian community has come to a crossroads. we are stagnant. something needs to change, but are we willing to do the work involved to bring about this change? last night mark and i went to provident bookstore. while browsing the "church" section, mark noticed that many of the books were about "the emerging church". we both stated our pleasure in knowing that there are other people out there who are willing to critique the church, but mark questioned whether this was a movement that would bring about real change, or if it was all just a bunch of rhetoric.
something needs to be changed, and i'm beginning to believe that the church, as it is, cannot be fixed. i think that, in a lot of ways, we need to completely abandon the way we do things now, and start over. i don't know how to accomplish this, but i hope and pray that God will enlighten us... and soon...
for quite some time now, my desire to be involved in church has been on what may best be described as a roller-coaster ride. my "distaste" for some aspects of the church (and by this i mean the "community of believers"-- a.k.a. christians) began during my sophomore year in high school. i went to a conservative christian school in bloomsburg, whose leaders tended (in my opinion) to be comprable to the pharisees described in the new testament. in my experience, many of the leaders of this school failed to love as Christ loved. they had very stringent standards of dress, behavior, attitudes, and opinions that could not be defied or even questioned without some kind of reproach. (in contrast, most of the teachers i had were wonderful examples of Christ's love, and i am truly thankful for them.) before i go on, i will say that i don't mean to berate these individuals. we are all human, and i am just as capable of mistreating people as they are. i am merely using them as an example to explain my feelings about the church.
there are many examples stored in my memory that i could recount for you, but i don't think they're necessary in making my point. i will just say this: there were many situations in which individuals involved in the school (teachers and students) were in need of some compassion, but instead were attacked and scolded for what was seen as their "shortcomings". naturally, i became fairly angry and hurt about this mistreatment, and because i was young and immature, i allowed what began as "righteous anger" to turn into bitterness.
in the year that followed, painful situations escalated at school. in addition, my beloved piano teacher passed away prematurely from heart disease, my boyfriend at the time was deployed to kuwait for six months, my youth pastor and his wife moved away in order for him to continue his education, and several major disagreements errupted in my church. the combination of all these situations caused a flood of questions to flow through my mind. the most prominent of which was, "if this is how christians treat people, do i really want to be labeled as one?"
with the assistance of time and several loving mentors, i began to understand that the hurtful behavior of the individuals mentioned before was not christianity, the basis for which is love, grace, and acceptance. this realization didn't solve much for me. yes, it answered the question of what christianity is really all about, but it also induced another, perhaps bigger question: "how do we accomplish this?" this is a question that i still often ask myself. i think it's a question that we need to never stop asking. how do we love as Christ loved? how do we become, as my youth pastor so poignantly described it, "jesus with skin on"? obviously, there is no easy answer, but i think that at the core, we must stop focusing on ourselves. last week i drove through a little town outside of lancaster called conestoga, and noticed the sign in front of one of the churches on the main road. it said, "at the center of sin is i". i think we can all agree it's a bit cheezy, but i think the point is valuable. until christians stop focusing on ourselves, we will continue to hurt those around us and fail in our calling to love.
all this to say that today i was thinking about why i didn't want to go to church this morning. there are many reasons. some are purely personal that i just need to get over, and some are more, fundamental, if you will. i think the christian community has come to a crossroads. we are stagnant. something needs to change, but are we willing to do the work involved to bring about this change? last night mark and i went to provident bookstore. while browsing the "church" section, mark noticed that many of the books were about "the emerging church". we both stated our pleasure in knowing that there are other people out there who are willing to critique the church, but mark questioned whether this was a movement that would bring about real change, or if it was all just a bunch of rhetoric.
something needs to be changed, and i'm beginning to believe that the church, as it is, cannot be fixed. i think that, in a lot of ways, we need to completely abandon the way we do things now, and start over. i don't know how to accomplish this, but i hope and pray that God will enlighten us... and soon...
Monday, February 20, 2006
i don't have much to say, other than... this weekend was loads of fun... and here are some pictures from t.j. rockwell's...
in case you don't know, this is me, the kateness, and amber
in case you don't know, this is me, the kateness, and amber
and here's katie and laura
hope everyone is having a great week... love to all...
Monday, February 13, 2006
since it's almost time for my least favorite day of the year, i thought i'd share my favorite valentine's day card...
(check out the website too... what's your favorite?)
(check out the website too... what's your favorite?)
Monday, February 06, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
it's the first day of my last semester! i cannot believe it. it seems like yesterday i was moving into the dorm! madness i tell you!
anyway... today was interesting. i was supposed to start working at the CDRE, but the building had to be closed because of hazmat contamination. so... i went grocery shopping instead. oh, how i love grocery shopping. it seems that i ALWAYS manage to go when it's raining. i really need to time these things better.
as always, i miss bloomsburg. i had such a great weekend, it was so hard to leave last night. on saturday, i went to carri and michelle's with shell and brandon. the 5 of us, along with tony (brandon's old roommate), played board games all night. for anyone who hasn't experienced michelle killian in board game mode, it is a sight to behold. she gets ridiculous. it seriously made my week... especially when she yelled out, "eat dirt, bird!" it was a great night. shell and brandon are the best (as we all know), and michelle and carri are just so much fun. tony is too... i just don't know him that well yet, and he spent most of the night trying to gross me out... which continued the next night at good old days. i can't really blame him though, it's very easy to get a reaction from me.
speaking of good old days... we hung out there on sunday night cause brandon's old roommates ran out of oil, so they didn't have heat in their house. there really are no words to describe good old days... you'd have to experience it for yourself. there's just something incredibly enjoyable about hanging out with your friends and watching drunk people sing karaoke.
and now i will leave you with this thought... "whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." -mark twain
love to all...
anyway... today was interesting. i was supposed to start working at the CDRE, but the building had to be closed because of hazmat contamination. so... i went grocery shopping instead. oh, how i love grocery shopping. it seems that i ALWAYS manage to go when it's raining. i really need to time these things better.
as always, i miss bloomsburg. i had such a great weekend, it was so hard to leave last night. on saturday, i went to carri and michelle's with shell and brandon. the 5 of us, along with tony (brandon's old roommate), played board games all night. for anyone who hasn't experienced michelle killian in board game mode, it is a sight to behold. she gets ridiculous. it seriously made my week... especially when she yelled out, "eat dirt, bird!" it was a great night. shell and brandon are the best (as we all know), and michelle and carri are just so much fun. tony is too... i just don't know him that well yet, and he spent most of the night trying to gross me out... which continued the next night at good old days. i can't really blame him though, it's very easy to get a reaction from me.
speaking of good old days... we hung out there on sunday night cause brandon's old roommates ran out of oil, so they didn't have heat in their house. there really are no words to describe good old days... you'd have to experience it for yourself. there's just something incredibly enjoyable about hanging out with your friends and watching drunk people sing karaoke.
and now i will leave you with this thought... "whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." -mark twain
love to all...
Friday, January 13, 2006
well, once again i'm wide awake at 1 in the morning. tonight i'm thinking about friends... in particular, some i haven't seen in quite some time. it's funny to think about how close we were at one point, and now we talk about once a year... if we're lucky. there's one friend who always seems to pop up just when i need someone to cheer me up. i miss that person the most tonight... and other nights too... and even some days. hopefully i'll get to see this person soon... possibly this summer.
which reminds me... nobody else wants to go to the grand canyon with me? we don't really have to do the grand canyon, but it would be fun to do a little camping/hiking trip. c'mon, guys... you know you want to!
wish me luck... i'm gonna go try to sleep now...
g'night, kids... much love...
which reminds me... nobody else wants to go to the grand canyon with me? we don't really have to do the grand canyon, but it would be fun to do a little camping/hiking trip. c'mon, guys... you know you want to!
wish me luck... i'm gonna go try to sleep now...
g'night, kids... much love...
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